Friday, December 29, 2006

Action In Progress

I was reading sasha's and aceone's post about those unacceptable public behaviour they 'accidentally' came across la.

Aiyoh, I also saw one very 'kurang sopan/kurang maruah' shameless to the hilt type of behaviour yesterday la. You see, I was caught in a very slow moving crawl out of my office basement carpark and as I was inching pass the parking boom, a black Perdana with dark-tinted glass, on the lane next to mine caught my eye. Wuaah, the male mustachoied driver was like leaning towards his female pasengger and kissing la. After like a long smooch (i kenot hear whether got sound like "chuttttt..." or not la), the young woman with a headscarf suddenly bend down towards the driver's lap lidat la. Aisehman, gua nearly knocked on the car in front la. I was still next to their car and damn it, my handphone is not powerful enough to snap some action in progress. Now from outside hor, you can see only one head (the driver's) only and this head hor, would suddenly bend down and then bobbed up again.

What do you think the woman was doing???
posted by nyonyapenang at 6:28 PM, | 47 comments
Wednesday, December 27, 2006


I was having some drinks with my friend N, an insurance agent when her phone rang. She took the call and ended it after a couple of ‘Yes’ and Nos’. As she was about to dig into her roti canai, the phone rang again and with a furrowed brow and a loud sigh, she picked up the phone. This time around she got up from her chair and walked out of the noisy restaurant to speak to the caller and only came back about 5 minutes later. Another loud sigh and some unprintable mutterings. She related her phone conversation and it went something like this:

Caller : So, if use credit card hor, have to pay extra charges or not?

N : No charges.

Caller : Can I just go to the branch and swipe my card ar?

N : Can.

Caller : Sure or not? Last time they said kenot wor?

N : Last time system not up yet lor. Now OK ledi.

Caller : But you said need to fill forms and I hate that la.

N : If you go personally to swipe your card, no need to fill forms.

Then every year you come personally to swipe la.

Caller : Tsk…so mahfun wan.

N : But if you fill the forms, they will charge this year and auto-bill next year.

Caller : Aiyoh, lidat how can? Very dangerous la.

N : Huh???

Caller : Afturds my mom die liao, they continue to charge my card. How la?

N : Huh? You mean, you won’t want to come and claim the money izzit???

Caller : Errr…hehehehe….

**slaps forehead**

Some people are just….just….DUNGGU lar.

posted by nyonyapenang at 12:42 AM, | 32 comments
Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Hand Reading

I have been wanting to put up this post for the past few days but gua ini agak busy la. Busy as in stuffing myself silly with all the yuletide offerings of roast turkey, ox-tail stew, leg of lamb, devil chicken, puddings and pies, etc… Now as I get ready for another round of mum-mum, I thought I better put my bum down and type out this post. You see, procrastination is sometimes my second name. Okie, the story is lidat wan.

A couple of days back, I joined 2 friends to visit a blogger, pisanggoreng at the Universiti Hospital. It’s the first time I met him and I’m glad to see that he is feeling better now after the operation and on the road to recovery. Two other bloggers have put up their posts here and here.

After that, my two friends and I went for limteh la. We were chatting, ranting and err…also bitching (a bit nia la) over our iced milo and iced ribena and somehow or other the topic veered to ‘hands’, yes, ‘hands’ as in tangan la. We were expounding our own theories about what a pair of hands can tell – the shape, size, length and width of fingers and thumbs – about the intelligence (whether got enough grey matter or not); diligence (whether good at ‘curi tulang’ or not); vocation (whether working like mules or not); lifestyle (whether decadent or otherwise); and also gender and sexuality(male/female or in between). We were then teasing each other endlessly and of course rebutting each others’ comments too when I suggested that I put up a picture of their hands in my blog for my readers to comment also.

So, friends just give me your 20 sen worth on what you can read from these 2 hands and if it’s too much trouble, then just give 1sen worth; GUESS THEIR GENDER.


posted by nyonyapenang at 1:36 AM, | 40 comments
Friday, December 22, 2006

Happy Tang Chek

Happy Tang CHek

Happy KOr TunG

happy Winter SolStice

posted by nyonyapenang at 12:14 AM, | 53 comments
Thursday, December 21, 2006

Joget Mama

Bigboy has not started work yet so I get to spend a little bit more time with him now and I am making the most out of it. Once he starts work, in all probability, I’ll need to fix an appointment just to have a meal of “chee cheong fun” with him. So we do lunch together on most days and for the past few evenings, have been doing dinner outside too. Aiyoh, gua balik lambat, no time to cook and err….gua lazy jugak lar. Hate all those cleaning and washing and mopping after each session of kuali-banging. **sighs**

And it’s during these short bonding sessions that Bigboy will drop his occasional pearl or two. Bigboy is by nature a quiet chap. Most times, he’ll just nod and smile if he agrees but he can really tell his piece, and very strongly too, if it’s otherwise.

Earlier, Smallboy had joined his friends for small dinner party at Sunway Pyramid, so Bigboy and I went out for a simple meal. On our way home, this conversation took place:-

Me : Haiyah……if she had married that royalty hor, now she senang-senang liao lor.

Bboy : Ohh….

Me : That chap did ask for her hand you know? That time she still in uni overseas lar. She tolak and later kahwin someone else.

Bboy : Ohh….

Me : But tak ngam her la, the lifestyle, kalo she married him. She’d suffocate and die la. Suka to party kuat-kuat, play kuat-kuat, and err. ….I heard sometimes mabuk kuat-kuat jugak. Hehehehe….she memang enjoys it ler.

Bboy : Nasib baik my mother not lidat ler.

Me : **woooowwww! a compliment!…..gua speechless for 2 minutes.**

Me : Been there, done that la. But when I decided to become a mother, a mother I will be. No ‘ifs’ and no ‘buts’. Sekarang you dua beradik sudah besar hor, gua boleh balik party liao la. Kakakakaka……..And you jaga pintu for me, ok? Kakakakaka….

So, babas and nyonyas…….bila kita pigi berjoget?????
posted by nyonyapenang at 12:11 AM, | 32 comments
Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The Tables Have Turned

When my boys started to go out with their own friends, I’d always want to know who they are going out with, where they are going to and what time can I expect them to be back. I even keep a list of their friends telephone numbers. I explained to them the rationale of my actions and questions. It was not to deny them privacy or that I was being extra nosey but at least to know where to look for them in case the need arises. If and when they are unusually late, I’d send an sms or just give them a call. And I do stay up and wait for them. I’d be in my room drifting in and out of snoozeland and I’d only go into deep slumber when I finally hear the main door open and then clicked shut.

The other night, I told them that I’d be out with my blogbabas and blognyonyas for dinner. And what a dinner we had; from 8.00pm to 1.00am. Bigboy got worried and he CELCOMed me, “Mama, where are you? Are you OK? Coming back ledi?”

My lips instantly curled into a smile. I told him that I was on my way and I should be home in another 10 minutes or so. Bigboy waited downstairs for me. Smallboy was still awake playing on-line games in his room.

See, the tables have turned liao. They may just ask to keep a list of my friends’ phone numbers too.
posted by nyonyapenang at 2:57 PM, | 45 comments
Monday, December 18, 2006

Why I Merepek

I think I was spooning my olio spaghetti into my mouth when Angel posted me a question. It went something like this– “What makes you start a blog?”

Aisehman, this young lady doesn’t seem to understand that orang tua like me just can’t multi-task. My brain was programmed to the eating mode at that moment and she decided to shoot such a mind-probing question. Anyway, I gently told her la, “Please don’t kacau la, when I’m eating. I may bite.”

**Burpssss**…..Okie, back to your question, Angel.

Hmmmmm……lemme think….**fingers tapping the table**

Ya, gua started blogging because……..

1) gua ‘chiak pa siaw eng’ (eat full, very free la) and gua kaypoh go and peeped at other people’s blogs. Wuuaah…..all kinds of everything you got there:-

sweeeeet sampai gigi pun wanna drop lidat;

sour sampai eyes also cannot open;

bitter until I almost choked myself in tears; and

the salty ones (ham-ham sup-sup) that caused my heart to palpitate.

Then the ‘kaypohness’ went up a notch and I started to type in my 1 sen worth of comments. Ehhh….got people comment on my comment wor. This is getting interesting liao. Gua sukaaaaa…….

2) gua pun naik lemak la and now wanna write my own stories. But then, what stories have I got to share ? What theme and style should I follow? What type of audience do I hope/wish to attract?...etc…etc….All these and more gave me cold fingers and fortunately, I found the answer in my warm heart – I just wanna share in my blog whatever that comes to my simple mind. Hence, merepek was born.

3) I wanna learn and discover. I blog ‘incognito’ and through the few short months, I’ve got to know loads of cyberfrens from all over the world and I am truly thankful to all of you who have touched my life in more ways than one. Thanks once more, for all those beautiful stories and delightful banter. Just keep them coming, all you sayangs out there.

It was this sweet, sweet Angel who graciously invited me for a first meet-up. She enticed me with an activity which I, errr…..errrmm…just could not resist. She arranged for a sinful ‘lick-a-lick-lick’ session. Aiyoh, lidat how to tahan la. I was soooo sexcited sampai cannot sleep and also nearly tripped on my sarong la. Thus a friendship was born on that beautiful afternoon with this group of wonderful people.

Ya, blogging led me to new friendships. And just last Friday evening and Saturday morning, I got to meet a few blogbabas (sengkor, ah nel, jl, anonwill, kenny ng and seefei) and blognyonyas (Angel, dr chen, may, _butt and winn) in the flesh. They are great company. Kamsiah again to Angel, the event organizer par excellence!

So, Angel, boleh la reasons macam ini, hor?
posted by nyonyapenang at 12:30 AM, | 47 comments
Friday, December 15, 2006

A Blog Addict Mia FRUSSSSSS

Kan gua ini sekarang blog addict? I enjoy blogging very much – I got loads to merepek about; I like peeking into other people’s blogs and being the typical kaypoh, oftentimes, I’d leave my 1 sen worth of comments la.

And these past 2 days is nothing but frustrations for me only. You know how difficult it is or not???? Happily, I would go into someone’s blog and after reading the delightful tales, I also want to blabber a bit la. After typing my most ‘creatively-crafted’ (to me, at least! LOL) comment followed by the funny looking stick-together word verification (where needed) and then ‘Send’, out comes out this stooooopid line, “Could not log you in. Double check your password or try again later.”

At first I thought, I typed wrongly (I’m also a 2-finger typist la). So, I re-typed many times and that message pops up repeatedly. GERAM betul! Has it got anything to do with Beta Blogger or what? I don’t know what is wrong. All I know is I’m FRUSSSS bigtime now. Just imagine la, dying to talk, but not allowed to. Got a feeling angin going to naik soon – kuali, periuk, senduk, piring, batu lesong, batu giling, etc… might just be flying outta my window.


Yippee! I can post my comments liao. Only those blogs using Beta Blogger give this problem la. And now my comments in those blogs appear only as ‘Nyonya’ instead of the usual ‘Nyonyapenang’ and the profile pic is lost somewhere 


I got angsty when I needed to quickly post my comment on jl's blog and I was unable to do so. Grrrrr...... This charmer and sweetie posted something here and I just wanna thank him from the bottom of my heart.
Sayangzzz to you, jl.
posted by nyonyapenang at 12:04 AM, | 58 comments
Wednesday, December 13, 2006

So Kurang Ajar Wan!

I was reading yenjai's post and I just couldn’t stifle a chuckle. Hehehehe….I was reminded of a similar incident whereby I had to ask for directions too. Hmmmm….come to think of it, I ask for directions ALL the time and despite being given supposedly clear instructions, I still find myself lost most of the time.

A couple of months ago, two of my Malay colleagues and I wanted to go pay our last respects to another Chinese colleague at the Nirwana Funeral Parlour in Sg Besi. We have sighted the building before; it can be clearly seen from the KL-Seremban Highway but none of us knew how to get there. Another colleague said that first, we have to go in to the Salak South area and should reach there after a couple of left turns. OK, sounds simple enough.

My colleague drove and I was the navigator. Bad choice, aitelyu. Got to Salak South with no problems but when we reached the area where there was road widening/construction, we were not too sure liao and somehow we ended in the highway again. After one big round, we were back to the earlier spot again. To avoid going into another wrong runaround, my colleague suggested that I go down and ask for directions. I saw a lorry driver just got into his lorry and I quickly waved and gestured to him to wait. I then waddled over to the lorry and gesticulated to the Indian driver to wind down the window.

Me : Tolong Boss, gua mau tanya sikit.

Driver : Huh?

Me : Mana itu Nirvana ah?

Driver : Apa?

Me : Nirvana. Itu Nirvana, you tau?

Driver : Tak tau la.

Me : Neh….itu orang mati mia rumah ah….

Driver : Tarak orang mati sini lar….

Me : Adalah. Kawan saya cakap dekat sini saja. Mau pusing mana ah?

Driver : Tarak la.

Me : Neh….itu rumah mayat larrr……

Driver : CHOOOY !!!!!... @%#$*&

The lorry driver engaged the gear and drove off; leaving me standing in a cloud of exhaust fumes.

Hmmmppffff… kurang ajar wan!
posted by nyonyapenang at 12:16 AM, | 103 comments
Monday, December 11, 2006

Balik Kampung Tanam Jagung

I was flipping through the newspaper when I saw small column on real estate transactions. The few lines told of a recently concluded sale of a basic 10-year old double-storey linked house measuring 22’ x 75’ at a cool RM800,000! And it quoted the property agent as saying that this a good deal as the average market price of similar property is about RM850,000.

Wow! Wow! Wow! That’s a lot of moolah to pay for a tiny roof. Ya, of course location counts; in this case, it’s in one of the more established residential areas in Petaling Jaya. This is a landed property in freehold land in a convenient and matured neighbourhood. But at this price?? Say, to go on 70% financing, I dare not even want to think and take out the old trusty calculator to find out how much I have to bring in each month to be able to afford the house instalments and other running expenses. Add on another huge hypertension-inducing sum for re-modelling as well as for fixtures and fittings. Match that with an equally ulcer-forming loan tenure that in all probability stretches pass my retirement if I’m lucky. If I’m not that lucky, I might just keel over before I can really claim that the house is fully MINE.

Sighhhsss……I think moving back to my kampung and tanam jagung doesn’t sound so bad after all.
posted by nyonyapenang at 11:59 PM, | 29 comments

A 'Preferred' Card Holder??

We had just finished our meal when my young friend, J called for the bill. The waiter promptly sent it over and J opened his wallet and fished out a credit card. Aisehman….this chap has no less than 5 pieces of plastics from different banks peeking out from his bulging wallet. As the waiter moved away, I just could not help commenting, “Wuaahh… carry so many credit cards ah? See, your wallet also not enough card slots ledi. Pay annual fees also pokkai la, lidat”

J then explained that 3 of the cards are offered to him ‘Free For Life’ – as in no annual fees payable and so, he just signed up for them. I then asked if it is not troublesome to carry so many cards and to make 5 different payments throughout the month. “That’s the point la, I get 5 credit lines of different limits and I can then spread and roll all my payments lor. That’s what credit cards are for, right?” J replied.

**roll eyes** Aiyoh…. this young ciku mia thinking kinda reckless la – I thought to myself.

Me : Ei, you mean you don’t settle full wan ah?

J : Sometimes la. Got money pay all; if not pay partial lor.

**roll eyes again**

J brings to mind what a close relative said about me regarding my earlier phobia of credit cards. Long, long time ago, I never want to have anything to do with credit cards. I always believe in cash – I’ll only buy something IF and WHEN I have the cash. (Of course la, for my car I still have to take a hire purchase loan and pay until I’m almost bent over.) Until I was fully convinced of the usefulness of credit cards, did I bring myself to gingerly sign on that tiny transaction slip. And I make sure I settle the full amount each month, which ocassionally can be quite painful – macam salah cabut gigi lidat la. A relative used to joke that the banks don’t like people like me because they don’t profit much. He went on to say that when applying for new cards, the banks would readily approve the application when they can see records that there were regular payments, albeit partial ones. This type brings profit to the banks and very much preferred, so he said.

To me, this is convoluted reasoning. Hmmmm…..better not roll eyes anymore (before the eyes get stuck up there for good). I’ll settle for a hearty bellow…..

posted by nyonyapenang at 12:11 AM, | 32 comments
Friday, December 08, 2006

Harrrloooo CELCOM!

I pay all my bills promptly because I ‘pantang’ being chased for payment and also I do not believe in paying penalty/interest for being late with my cheques. Moreover, some companies encourage early/prompt payments with cash rebates and I have been enjoying 5% from my phone service provider. So as soon as I receive my bills, I will issue a cheque and then file the bills straightaway. Saves time and avoid clutter.

Then about 3 months ago, I noticed that the 5% rebate is no longer on my bills. I called up the Customer Service and was told that they’ll check and get back to me. Meanwhile, I am to pay the full amount as per the bill. I got no problems with that. I have forgotten about that CS fella until the next bill arrived. Ohhh….still no rebates huh??? Made another call to the CS and this time around, that young chap promised to look into it immediately and to get back to me ASAP. True enough, on Nov 2 2006, I received an official SMS from CELCOM to advise that my “….Case ID is C061031-3953432 has been resolved. The adjusted amount will be reflected in your next bill statement. Thank you.” – I’m quoting them verbatim here. I was impressed…..until, until….

The next bill dated Nov 24 arrived – still no adjustment or whatever. OK, another call would be just proper. Related my story to another CS executive who said will call me back in 30 minutes but the call finally came in after 50 minutes or so. Nevermind. With the patience of a saint, I listened to this chap and you know what he said? It went something like this:-

CS : “Harlo, Madam Tan ah? Sorry to tell you – now no more rebates for early payment.

Me : Since when?

CS : Not sure.

Me : Then how you know?

CS : I checked wif my superior and he said stopped already.

Me : How come I dunno wan? Any communication sent out?

CS : I dunno.

Me : Let me talk to your superior.

CS : OK, You hold the line for awhile?

Me : **wait and wait and smoke coming out from my nose ledi**

CS : Sori, Madam Tan. There is no manager at night.

Me : OK, then you pass the message to whoever you superior is to call me back ASAP. And tell him I want my money back.

CS : Madam Tan, there is no more rebate. The SMS wrongly sent la.

Me : I still have it in my phone as proof. Wah…. CELCOM lidat wan ah?
Dowan to honour izzit? I’m going to complain big-big la.

CS : Aiyoh, lidat my colleague will kena la.

Me : Please remember to get your manager to call me. Good night.

I waited for one day. No calls came in. I then sent an email yesterday. Still waiting for a response.

posted by nyonyapenang at 12:10 AM, | 45 comments
Wednesday, December 06, 2006

The Know-It-All Type

I have been in my line of work for quite a while and I have come across many, many different types of personalities – the good, the bad and the ugly types; the funny and the serious types; and off course, the know-it-all type.

When I first ventured into sales, I can tell you, it’s real susah loh. Everything was new to me – the hardware, the software and everyday out in the field was just like, like warfare la. Gotta learn up on the products, prepare for a good kick-ass presentation and do the closing. Sounds simple and straight forward enough and hey, I thought I got everything under wraps; no sweat! But that was in the training room only la.

The real test of what works and what doesn’t, I’d soon get to find out when I was in the field all alone. The morning would start with a kind of cold feeling somewhere between the gut and the stomach but nevermind, a cup of hot coffee would take care of that. But as the appointed hour approaches, I’d start getting jittery and all. ‘Maybe he’s not in.’; ‘I think I got tummy ache’; ‘Maybe he’ll call to cancel the appointment’; “Maybe got flood la” – all these and more, would be playing in my head again and again. The confidence level was next to zilch. Whatever the case, there was no turning back – die, die only one time la. Just closed the eyes and dived into the deep end and after gulp-fulls of water and many near-drownings, surprise, surprise, I learned to peddle a bit and stayed afloat.

Coming back to the types of people I have come across, I’d have to say that the know-it-all type takes the cake. I’d be the one supposed to do the presentation, this wisecrack would be like 5 lines ahead of me and he’d be interrupting and cutting me in mid-sentence. I’d then politely tell him to let me finish first and the minute I was through, he would come up with all kinds of questions, related as well as non-related ones. With experience and all that I learned from hard-knocks, I’d answer him the best I could. And just when I thought, I got it to a pat, he’d say something like, “I’m a doctor”/ “I’m a lawyer”/ “I’m an accountant”?I’m a something-something big”

?????? What has this to do with what I’m presenting, huh? And I met one yesterday. When I finished my meeting with her, she said, “You know, my father is a lawyer.” What’s wrong with her? Hmmmm…. maybe indirectly telling me to behave, if not, she gonna sue me until my sarong drop lidat la.

Aiyoh,………gua veli the takut ler. TOLONNNGGGGGG!!!......HELLLLPPPP!!!
posted by nyonyapenang at 12:22 AM, | 46 comments
Tuesday, December 05, 2006

What Is Appropriate Here?

About 1½ years after their wedding, my friend C and his wife both decided to uproot and move over to US in early 2005. They came back for a short visit year end 2005 but due to their limited time and packed schedules, we did not get to meet up. Just some words exchanged over the phone.

Sometime early this year, C sent me an email – he’s gonna be a papa soon. Every alphabet in the email spells pride and joy. Their first born will probably arrive end November/early December. I am truly happy for them too and I clicked the mouse straightaway to send my congratulatory message.

And about 2 weeks ago, I was on the phone with C’s sister, L on some work matters. The conversation veered to both of us complaining and whining about our unfinished workloads, etc….

Me : So when are you going on leave?

L : What leave? I’m drowning in work la.

Me : Thought you got plenty of leave to clear.
Your parents going US or not? Maybe you can join them ler.

L : Huh?

Me : Your parents go welcome new grandchild ma.

L : No lah.

Me : Ohh…..your brother and wifey coming back here to have the baby izzit?

L : No lah.

Me : (hmmmm……maybe I remember wrongly the baby’s EDD)

Me : So baby arrived ledi or belum? First grandchild wor? Everybody must be kancheong la.

L : Err…..Errrm…..It didn’t work out.

Me : Aww……I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. My apologies.

Haiyah……I felt soooo horrible. Can someone please teach me and tell me what is the most appropriate?
posted by nyonyapenang at 12:29 AM, | 31 comments
Monday, December 04, 2006

Stop Being Anal!

“TRY NOT TO GET TOO WORKED UP. NOT GOOD FOR HEALTH. TAKE CARE, MA. LOVE YOU.” – I got this sms from bigboy a few evenings ago.



I was scrolling through my phone message box just now and I saw the above 2 texts. Aikksss…. What was it that resulted in those 2 sms? I tried hard to recall. Oh ya! I crossed words with someone else(not bigboy) because I found I was not told the truth about an incident. In fact, I was not told at all but somehow the story surfaced and it was not pleasant news. A not very sweet confrontation took place and I pressed for the true picture which ultimately dismayed me. Like a hurt mama dog, I latched on to that piece of meat and tore it to shreds. No, I didn’t eat it; I spit it out. It was vile.

I was in my room licking my wounds when bigboy sent the message. Awww……I felt so ashamed of myself; I just wanted to hide under the blanket. After a short while, I re-read the message – I felt so loved. I am truly blessed. In the darkness, I took out the phone and sent the reply. Relief swept over me and I fell asleep. All forgotten……

…….Until just now. I was about to press the ‘DELETE’ button to clear the sms but then I changed my mind. I think I shall keep it there to remind me ‘NOT TO GET TOO WORKED UP’ and ‘STOP BEING ANAL!’
posted by nyonyapenang at 12:08 AM, | 31 comments
Friday, December 01, 2006

A Friend To Treasure

On Nov 22 2006 at 5.33 am, someone walking by my kampong blog decided to pop in and take a peek. It’s a peaceful and tranquil kampong and my doors are always open and there, I saw this tall, slim and debonair gentleman with the most gentle and warm smile on his face. Of course, I quickly welcomed him into my humble abode. He introduced himself as Uncle Lee and he flew all the way from Canada. It’s winter there now with sub-zero temperatures and I guessed he kinda like my humble but warm abode.

It’s strange but true – we are strangers to each other, we have never known each other but somehow, we clicked straightaway and believe me, we’re just like a house on fire. Awww…..he is a real charmer - sweet, endearing, warm, kind, polite, has a great sense of humour, a wonderful storyteller and before long, my other blogger friends were practically feeding from his hands.

We reminisce, we tease, we flirt – all in the name of good clean fun and we just can’t have enough of it. Uncle Lee, what can I say? But to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your kind words, beautiful and meaningful songs, heart and soul-warming Southern Comfort, the sensual dances, the fabulous bouquet of lovely roses and also your kopi-O and and lip-smacking donuts.

And most of all, thank you for being my friend – a friend I shall always treasure.
posted by nyonyapenang at 12:42 AM, | 45 comments