Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Lost Somewhere In Between

I was chatting with a friend the other day and somehow, the conversation veered to her telling me how she felt she was the least loved of all in her family. She has an elder sister and a younger brother, and being the middle child, she felt ignored and unloved all the time. All things new, from clothes, shoes, toys, books and everything else would go to big sis and my friend had to settle for hand-me-downs. Food? Oh, she had smaller helpings and the least juicy cuts of meat, while the drumsticks and all the tender pieces would be piled on kid brother’s (nicknamed Little Emperor) plate. And outings? Oh, big sis got to go by virtue of she being the big girl and when Little Emperor got to tag along, it was because he was the baby of the house. My friend hated being the middle child. She would give anything to be the eldest or the youngest.

This brought to mind a young relative who is the eldest girl among 3 siblings. She is unhappy because being the eldest of the brood, she had to help the most with the chores and is reminded over and over again that she has to give way to her younger sisters and brother. To buy a new pair of shoes? Oh no, she can’t have it, because the money is for 2 new school-bags for her sisters. An extra scoop of ice-cream? Oh no, she gotta keep some for the younger ones. This young teen hated being the eldest in the family. How she wished she is the youngest.

And a friend’s daughter….she is the youngest in the family, supposedly doted on by her 3 elder brothers. As much as she enjoys the attention, she dislike the way her brothers ‘over-protect’ her. She is already in her twenties and yet, everything has to go through her brothers…from choice of college, choice of friends, choice of dressing, make-up, hairstyle, etc..etc…has to be scrutinized. She hated all these and she felt suffocated and yet, she felt powerless to rebel. How she wished she is the eldest and maybe can then boss her brothers around.

Three different people, three different positions in the family and three different views. I am the youngest in the family and honestly, I would not want it any other way. I felt so blessed to have an elder brother and elder sister who doted on me and love me to pieces and I reciprocated unconditionally. Both of them being more than 10 years my senior, I am the baby of the family and both of them cared for and protected me fiercely too. They held on to my hand when I was small and slowly learned to let go bit by bit as I grew and finally letting go of their hands to let me walk my own. Nevertheless, I knew they were never far behind, standing there and watching from a comfortable distance, seeing me wobble and stumble and ever ready to dash forward to break my fall. This, I will forever cherish and be thankful.

So are you the number one or, are you the baby or, are you lost somewhere in between? Care to offer your 20sen worth?

posted by nyonyapenang at 1:45 AM, | 26 comments
Sunday, March 25, 2007

Lend Me Your Ears

How often have we had someone confiding in us that he/she does not gel/does not get along/cannot click/cannot stand the sight of someone else, be that person their acquaintance, colleague or relative? The reasons are so varied – some do make some sense while others, well, should I say, do not make any sense at all, at least to me. Nonetheless, I do not mind lending and ear or act as a sounding board for the aggrieved to pour out his/her reasons or perceived logic for feeling and behaving as they do.

However, I appreciate the fact that when they sought out someone to open up to, more often than not, they are not seeking answers…they ALREADY know and have the answers. We are all intelligent creatures…we know WHAT WE WANT and we KNOW WHERE TO SEEK and we know WHAT TO DO with what we have sought. Look and listen closely and you will find that in most cases, all that was craved for was acceptance and not judgment. In any instance, all that is needed would be just a listening ear and never a prophetic tongue. Keep the tongue but do lend an ear, sometimes.

I also have my fair share of disagreements and not being able to see eye to eye with some. We are each an individual and of course we are all different and this makes for interesting fellowship. But how well we get along with each other, I believe, depends a little on how much we have invested in what I call the ‘emotional bank account’. How far this person can go with you is dependent on how much has been ‘invested’ in this account. Is the balance healthy enough to pay for the occasional silly indiscretions that would cause each other heartaches and headaches and sometimes drive each other off the bend? Is the balance good for those occasional sick jokes and pranks and wicked sense of humour, as well as all those dark and sullen moods? Is the balance strong enough to withstand the occasional tempest that would threaten to smash the bonds of friendship to smithereens? I want to remind myself each day to invest a little bit more, to build a little bit more and to love a little bit more and enrich myself a little bit more.

Have a great week ahead, folks.
posted by nyonyapenang at 7:34 PM, | 28 comments
Thursday, March 22, 2007

The Final Send-Off

For Tom’s final send-off last week, the family decided to engage the services of a mid-size undertaker company. When told, I was quite apprehensive at first because of the adverse publicity with regards to this other type of ‘vultures’ that lurk in hospital corridors and I was not sure if they would actually do a decent and honest job.

Those send-offs that I have attended over the years in Penang, were more often than not, uncomfortable affairs; everything from the aesthetics to the logistics were badly managed and poorly organized and at times, I noticed too, that it was bordering on callousness, leaving the bereaved families more confused and lost. Things were done in a slip-shot manner as the grieving families were too distressed to look into it.

The undertakers swung into action immediately and managed to bring the body home within an hour or so and took over everything that needed to be done. My sis-in-law and my nephews and nieces were too numbed with grief to be able to offer much input. Thankfully, the extended family and some close friends rallied around to help in whatever way they could. To each and everyone of them, we offer our sincere thanks and heartfelt gratitude.

The 2 days passed quickly in a flurry of activities – receiving relatives and friends who came to pay their respects, having prayers and chanting sessions and taking turns to stay up throughout the night. And oh, I met many of the relatives and family friends whom I have not seen in ages and as we chatted, we sadly recall that the last time we met was at so-and-so’s passing too or for a couple of others, during happier moments, like somebody’s wedding. As we shook hands and slapped each other’s backs and commented how the kids have grown, how there are now many more lines on the face, about receeding hairlines and of the latest hair-colouring attempts to camouflage the greying on the crown and also of the extra pounds of flab all piled at the wrong places. This is how much we have changed physically and drifted emotionally despite the often-repeated promises to stay in touch which we unfortunately do not keep. Sad huh?

Well, those people I met there were a mixed-bag….the younger and kinda nonchalant group and the older true-blue ‘tradiotionalists’ who have no qualms about ‘sharing’ their ideas of how things should be done. So, when I requested the 6-piece band to play some of Tom’s favourite songs like, ‘Burung Kakak Tua’, ‘Bengawan Solo’, ‘Jacqueline/Yueh Lai Siang’ and a Mandarin number, ‘Wann Foong’, besides others, the second group was mortified. In fact, I also asked a close cousin who was a guitarist/drummer in a band in his heyday, if he wished to throw in a few tunes or hit a few beats, he declined, pleading lack of practice. Tom deserved a joyous and dignified final send-off and while the band played the catchy tunes, we grieved and at the same time, rejoice that Tom is in a better place now.

posted by nyonyapenang at 11:41 AM, | 21 comments
Sunday, March 18, 2007


So what have I been up to the past 2 days since I came back from Penang? Well, for starters, I have been catching up on lost sleep……ya, the sleep-debt is kinda enormous and I being someone whose brain gets all foggy when sleep-deprived, the best therapy would be to hug my ‘dakap-peluk’ tight and take flight to snoozeland.

I came home on Friday evening and I tell ya, nothing beats sleeping on my own bed in my own room with all the familiar and comforting scents and feel and was soon enveloped in deep slumber and I only woke up at about 12.00noon the next day. I could have slept on for a while longer if not for the incessant ringing of the phone and that monyet on the line dialed the wrong number. Hmmmfffppphhhhmmm….

Had a simple lunch and then tried to clear some chores and hoped to blog-hop a bit after that. Unfortunately, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak….I did visit a couple of blogs but somehow, I can’t seem to register much of what has been written, what more to leave my comments! Aiyahhh… I might just leave my friends bewildered with my incoherent ramblings. So shucks, I guess it’s better to come back later when I get my bearings right.

I tried to clear more of the sleep-debt on Saturday night by knocking in early at about 1.30am Sunday morning (ya lar,….my usual bed time is 3.00am) and only woke up at about 11.00am, this time by some extremely noisy music blaring from a few streets away. Haiyah…wish I got some dogs I can let loose at those noisy people.

Now it’s late Sunday afternoon and I kinda feel sleepy but somehow I can’t nap…..have not had afternoon naps for a long, long time already. So, what is better than to type out this short filler post.

And oh ya, Yinsi Yat 118 asked to see this which I got it when I was back in Penang a few days ago. Not nude, but only topless. Cute and Lovable, ya?

***Now, it's over to you Yinsi Yat 118...please show us your topless photo too.***
posted by nyonyapenang at 4:56 PM, | 32 comments
Tuesday, March 13, 2007

A Tribute To Tom

(July 23 1940 to March 13 2007)

They took away your fragrant pipe that day
"Oh no, you can't have it", so they say
I visited you and whispered in your ear
"Just wake up and I'll bring your cigar here."

You struggled to speak and tell us more
A tear by the corner of your eyes I saw
Oh Koh-Koh, you're tired and needed a rest
And yes, we know, God only takes the best.
posted by nyonyapenang at 3:25 AM, | 51 comments
Sunday, March 11, 2007

Baby Nyonya

I have been away MIA for the past few days and a little bird told me that I have been tagged AGAIN! This lengchai, Sengkor, wants to know what a baby nyonya looks like. So folks, this will be a hatrick of sorts for me....3 tags/meme back to back.

Sengkor, hope you like the 2 pictures. :))
posted by nyonyapenang at 2:53 PM, | 31 comments
Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Come And Make Your Call

These 2 ladies, Wennnn and Mott
Each gave me a tag, one day
They want me to share my lot
On the birth of my blog last May

What I want to say is nothing new
Guess, we all have time to spare
That’s me and you and you and you
We open our hearts and minds to share

An inquisitive mind, a curious eye
To read of thoughts ever so profound
Ditch the who, the what and the why
Just come and spread the cheer all round

Friendships are built far and wide
A life and soul is touched each day
Yellow or Brown, Black or White
Here, we are happy to have our say

A lonely laughter, a joke unshared
A lonely cry, the pain & hurt we bear
Friends I found are ‘gems’ so rare
There is always someone here who care

Hey, come one, come all
Does not matter if you’re big or small
Please don’t hide behind that wall
Just come right in, and make your call!

So Wennnn & Mott, I have completed the tag which both of you gave. Kamsiah.
posted by nyonyapenang at 1:24 PM, | 24 comments
Friday, March 02, 2007

A 'Weird' Meme

Today, this famous Ah Pek came to ‘visit’ me
Wuah…he made me feel very, very happy
This ‘taikor’, gua sungguh hormati
Sapoter dia banyak, tak dapat dikira jari

Wahai, Ah Pek, lu datang bawa satu meme
Macam passing the baton, lu hantar to me
Adoi…gua mia otak already cukup foggy
Summore have to confess weird things about me

OK, hmmmmm….lemme, lemme see
No. 1, ada kawan-kawan komen to me
Diorang rasa saya agak weird sekali,
Boleh makan cornflakes 3 kali sehari

No. 2, buku tak baca, cinema gua tak pergi
Kawan tanya, “Apa lu buat tiap-tiap hari?”
Ah…No. 3, gua beri tahu semua kat sini
TIDUR, itu saya mia hobi.

No. 4, Lepas bangun, gosok gigi, muka kasi cuci,
Masuk bilik, gua boleh tidur balik lagi.
No. 5, kuat tidur, tapi gua rasa jarang bermimpi
Tarak nombor untuk Toto, Magnum dan 4-D

No. 6, Shopping, gua tak gila, gua tak berapa gemari,
Kawan saya kata gua ini perempuan weird sekali.
Bukan ini saja, saya kena cakap satu kali lagi
Buat tag and meme, gua ni memang ada allergy

Ah Pek, the meme is done, but I shall not tag anybody. ^O^
posted by nyonyapenang at 8:52 PM, | 27 comments