Sunday, March 25, 2007

Lend Me Your Ears

How often have we had someone confiding in us that he/she does not gel/does not get along/cannot click/cannot stand the sight of someone else, be that person their acquaintance, colleague or relative? The reasons are so varied – some do make some sense while others, well, should I say, do not make any sense at all, at least to me. Nonetheless, I do not mind lending and ear or act as a sounding board for the aggrieved to pour out his/her reasons or perceived logic for feeling and behaving as they do.

However, I appreciate the fact that when they sought out someone to open up to, more often than not, they are not seeking answers…they ALREADY know and have the answers. We are all intelligent creatures…we know WHAT WE WANT and we KNOW WHERE TO SEEK and we know WHAT TO DO with what we have sought. Look and listen closely and you will find that in most cases, all that was craved for was acceptance and not judgment. In any instance, all that is needed would be just a listening ear and never a prophetic tongue. Keep the tongue but do lend an ear, sometimes.

I also have my fair share of disagreements and not being able to see eye to eye with some. We are each an individual and of course we are all different and this makes for interesting fellowship. But how well we get along with each other, I believe, depends a little on how much we have invested in what I call the ‘emotional bank account’. How far this person can go with you is dependent on how much has been ‘invested’ in this account. Is the balance healthy enough to pay for the occasional silly indiscretions that would cause each other heartaches and headaches and sometimes drive each other off the bend? Is the balance good for those occasional sick jokes and pranks and wicked sense of humour, as well as all those dark and sullen moods? Is the balance strong enough to withstand the occasional tempest that would threaten to smash the bonds of friendship to smithereens? I want to remind myself each day to invest a little bit more, to build a little bit more and to love a little bit more and enrich myself a little bit more.

Have a great week ahead, folks.
posted by nyonyapenang at 7:34 PM, |


  At 8:41 PM Blogger zewt said:
my mom's ears were always there for me. but i never use them. i thought she will only nag me. that's probably true... but i should have given her a chance.
  At 8:47 PM Blogger may said:
you can invest in me! or at least borrow my ears. I'll DHL them over to you, ok? *sayangz tight-tight*
  At 9:47 PM Blogger Kenny Ng said:
My ears can hear everything... included woo woo things. U want me lend u my ears?
  At 10:05 PM Blogger savante said:
Thanks for the great advice, nyonya!
Wah! woke up on the wrong side of bed ah?

*tiptoe out of nyonya's blog*
  At 12:14 AM Blogger Chen said:
i can lend u my ears, free of charge :D Hope i can borrow yours too when the need arise ;)
perhaps you feel that you did not 'use' your mom's ears but i can read from your posts that she picked up every tiny morsel of what you said. she understood and she cared.

sure! i may just take up on your offer.
shucks, where is that DHL number ar?

you got ringing in your ears ar? lidat, if i kasi summore input, your ears gonna rosak liao lor.

if it helps. :)
you have a nice day!

cocka doodle,
no lar...i think tak cukup shalalalalalala......

no need tok marny....tok mum-mum...tok cheong hei fun, can liao. :)
  At 5:33 AM Blogger U.Lee said:
Hi Nyonya, If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I
wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to
catch them. Everyone hears what you say. Friends
listen to what you say. Best friends listen to
what you don't say. We all take different paths in
life, but no matter where we go, we take a little
of each other everywhere.
Best regards, UL.
  At 9:12 AM Blogger Jonzz said:
Emotional bank account? Hmm.. I must be bankrupt already. Heh!
  At 9:21 AM Blogger ah nel said:
i cut my ear n gv u on ur b'day plesent next month ok???

*u can keep it*
  At 9:57 AM Blogger daniel said:
we might be intelligent creatures, but we are also the most complicated creatures...
Hi Uncle Lee,
I fully agree with what you said and I like the way you put it..."...I'd be at the bottom to catch them."
"Best friends listen to what you don't say."

We are given 2 ears and 1 mouth - to listen more and talk less and each of us are different in that many ways that we are the same.

Have a nice day, Uncle Lee.

hmmm.....maybe can start investing now.
you have a pleasant day too.

ah nel,
oh no, please don't do that. i merely want to borrow your ears but never to take away.
have a great day!
very true.
problem starts when we do not make proper use of the innate intelligence.
have a great day!
  At 11:32 AM Blogger eve said:
yeah , sometimes you just want someone to listen..and my hubby is not a very good candidate for that..he will try to 'offer solutions' instead of listening n keeping quiet..typical males hor?..
I guess we all need a place and an ear sometimes
Listening is the word I think
  At 2:37 PM Anonymous JL said:
A really sound investment :)
  At 6:20 PM Blogger DJINSAKTI said:
Telinga wa tak leh kasi pinjam.. kalau sudah kasi lu, wa tarak dengat.. ini macam ah, tengok tv tarak syiok kalau wa tarak dengat... solly ah, lain boleh kasi pinjam, wa telinga tarak boleh kasi wo...

huh? shalalalalaa...still thinking of that song we sang in karaoke ah?? hahaha...hmmmm...dat's y we shud just forget apa apa unhappy and sing away la! more karaoke sessions to come???
  At 7:06 PM Anonymous _butt said:
i like your words of wisdom, kak nyonya.. really make me think hard about how I've been treating my friends lately.. sigh..
  At 7:25 PM Blogger angel said:
Not really sure of the point you wanted to make but...

*points at own ears*

I actually don't believe in "best friend(s)"... why? Because I don't think anyone can be our best friend except our ownself... cynical, huh? Boh pian...
you have a good man least he is offering solutions. :)

ya...listening is an art. :)

with positive returns too! :)

hi djinsakti,
selamat datang. jemput masuk...ok, ok, gua takkan minta pinjam telinga...yang lain, gua plomis gua takkan pinjam jugak.

and thanks for dropping by.

apa itu shalalalalaa.....?? LOL

you are doing fine.

errr...i'm not hitting at any particular point. :)

'best friends'?...that one in primary school got lar. now, let's talk 'true friends'....friends whom you can agree to disagree with.
have a nice day! cheersss....
  At 10:22 PM Anonymous kat said:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
  At 10:23 PM Anonymous kat said:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
  At 10:34 PM Anonymous kat said:
Hmmm...I only got one best friend, wa eh ang. Because his is the only account I have invested everything in. But I really shouldn't put all my eggs in one basket, eh?

Good analogy, nyonya! Thanks!
  At 10:38 PM Anonymous kat said:
Oops! Sorry nyonya. Can you pls delete the first 2 comments? Tersend before I was ready! Thanks!
Very sound advice. I agree 100%.
Many people are not aware of the emotional bank account, thanks for the gentle reminder.

Hey, Nyonya, btw I just tagged you. :)
  At 10:38 AM Blogger famil said:
account number always jilo ler..

anyway, very nice analogy.. but yeah, to avoid conflict I usually just listen and dont give any feedback (uless they really squeeze for one)
invest wisely and you'll be generously rewarded.

giddy tiger,

err...the gimme some time, ok?

start investing and do away with the jilo. :)