Merepek

For Tom’s final send-off last week, the family decided to engage the services of a mid-size undertaker company. When told, I was quite apprehensive at first because of the adverse publicity with regards to this other type of ‘vultures’ that lurk in hospital corridors and I was not sure if they would actually do a decent and honest job.

Those send-offs that I have attended over the years in Penang, were more often than not, uncomfortable affairs; everything from the aesthetics to the logistics were badly managed and poorly organized and at times, I noticed too, that it was bordering on callousness, leaving the bereaved families more confused and lost. Things were done in a slip-shot manner as the grieving families were too distressed to look into it.

The undertakers swung into action immediately and managed to bring the body home within an hour or so and took over everything that needed to be done. My sis-in-law and my nephews and nieces were too numbed with grief to be able to offer much input. Thankfully, the extended family and some close friends rallied around to help in whatever way they could. To each and everyone of them, we offer our sincere thanks and heartfelt gratitude.

The 2 days passed quickly in a flurry of activities – receiving relatives and friends who came to pay their respects, having prayers and chanting sessions and taking turns to stay up throughout the night. And oh, I met many of the relatives and family friends whom I have not seen in ages and as we chatted, we sadly recall that the last time we met was at so-and-so’s passing too or for a couple of others, during happier moments, like somebody’s wedding. As we shook hands and slapped each other’s backs and commented how the kids have grown, how there are now many more lines on the face, about receeding hairlines and of the latest hair-colouring attempts to camouflage the greying on the crown and also of the extra pounds of flab all piled at the wrong places. This is how much we have changed physically and drifted emotionally despite the often-repeated promises to stay in touch which we unfortunately do not keep. Sad huh?

Well, those people I met there were a mixed-bag….the younger and kinda nonchalant group and the older true-blue ‘tradiotionalists’ who have no qualms about ‘sharing’ their ideas of how things should be done. So, when I requested the 6-piece band to play some of Tom’s favourite songs like, ‘Burung Kakak Tua’, ‘Bengawan Solo’, ‘Jacqueline/Yueh Lai Siang’ and a Mandarin number, ‘Wann Foong’, besides others, the second group was mortified. In fact, I also asked a close cousin who was a guitarist/drummer in a band in his heyday, if he wished to throw in a few tunes or hit a few beats, he declined, pleading lack of practice. Tom deserved a joyous and dignified final send-off and while the band played the catchy tunes, we grieved and at the same time, rejoice that Tom is in a better place now.