Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Learning from Ah Beng......

If you want to know what they are talking about…… here are some useful words from Ah Beng’s Dictionary of Geographic Terminology …..

GORGES

Ah Beng’s dictionary meaning * adj. stunningly beautiful

Eg. “That guy is gorges!”

BEACH

Ah Beng’s dictionary meaning * noun. A derogatory term for a disliked woman.

Eg. “That Nancy is such a beach, man!”

CANOPY

Ah Beng’s dictionary meaning * a phrase as in impossible, unlikely, cannot be…

Eg. “He got a new gerfren???? Canopy!”

CIRRUS

Ah Beng’s dictionary meaning * adjective. Certain

Eg. Cirrus or not? Dun bruff!”

CORAL

Ah Beng’s dictionary meaning * verb. To bicker.

Eg. “Where got coral? &#@%$...”

CORAL REEF

Ah Beng’s dictionary meaning * verb. To argue with.

Eg. “Want to coral reef me, issit?”

DAM

Ah Beng’s dictionary meaning * noun. A swear word to express disgust or dismay.

Eg. Dam it, call her go Zook, she dun wan.”

LATTITUDE

Ah Beng’s dictionary meaning * adjective. A disagreeable demeanour.

Eg. “She really got latitude ploblem, man!”


THERMOMETER

Ah Beng’s dictionary meaning * phrase. Meet the next day.

Eg. “Ah Lian say thermometer at Led Box.”


VALLEY

Ah Beng’s dictionary meaning * adverb. Extremely

Eg. “That ChiowChiow Amani shirt valley nice!”

 
posted by nyonyapenang at 12:48 AM, | 17 comments
Friday, February 22, 2008

Do I Look Like A BIG LULU?

The car battery died on me when I was at the tint-shop to collect the car. Aisehman, I can remember clearly that it was not too long ago that I changed a new battery and a quick call to the motor workshop, CITIREAN AUTO SERVICES SDN BHD at Damansara Utama, Petaling Jaya confirmed that the battery is less than a year old and still under warranty. The guys at the tint-shop helped to jumpstart the car so that it can be driven straight to the mechanic. Test..test here and test, test there….okie….the battery is faulty and the warranty stands.

Then the lady boss of CITIREAN AUTO SERVICES SDN BHD said that they no longer carry this particular brand of battery and that I leave the faulty battery there for her to claim a new unit from the HQ of the supplier. And as she now no longer carry/sell this brand, she suggested that I buy another new unit of another brand from her at RM320 per unit and then she will claim the replacement unit from the supplier.


“Wah so expensive ar this new brand?” I asked

“Aiyoh…batteries increased price a lot loh.” she answered.


I told her I remember I bought the existing one at RM280 only.


“That brand also increased price now. It should be RM320 or thereabouts liao”, she said.


I then asked her what am I suppose to so with an extra battery. She said that she will give me a cash refund for the faulty unit and then she will sell the new unit. Okie. But then I asked here how much refund she is giving me? I expected nothing less than RM280, so that means I will have to pay her RM40 if I were to take the new XX brand. Wah. …she twisted and turned and spun a tale and was non-committal on the price. I pushed on and she said she will refund me the price that the supplier charged her, which is her cost price lar….which is definitely is very much less than RM280.


“Hey, mana betul lidat?” I asked.

“Okie, lidis. I get credit note from supplier and I refund you the amount.” she said.



She wants to refund me the cost price and then sell the replacement unit at a marked-up end-user price. She thinks she is the only one with brains ar?


HAHAHAHHAA.........Adooiii....hahhahahaa


Preposterous!!!! Kepala otak dia ini…..she already profited when I bought the battery last year. And now when it is still under warranty she tried to pusing-pusing around and make from both ends. Warranty means replacement one for one and this cunning woman wants to profit from 3 ends - the old unit, new XX brand unit and when she sells the new replacement unit.

Do I look like a BIG LULU? hahahahahah..........



In the end I decided to deal direct with the HQ and I got a brandnew unit for free and without fuss. Thanks to CENTURY AUTOMOTIVE PRODUCTS SDN BHD.


Addendum: Can you all see the BIG NAME up there? hehehee.....

 
posted by nyonyapenang at 1:36 PM, | 38 comments
Saturday, February 16, 2008

I DUNNO, Really!

Two mornings ago, a woman called my mobile:-

Woman : Ms Lim izzit?

Me : No.

Woman : Can I speak to Ms Lim?

Me : Kenot.

Woman : Err….I’m from XX Water Filter Co. Our records show your filter element is due for replacement…bla…bla….

Me : Lemme tell you and you go and tell your whole ofis again that I am Ms Tan and I have been telling you all that for the past 20 years! Can you just amend your records immediately, please?


Woman : OK...K...K......




Then this morning another fella from the Company called:-

Man : Ms Lim ar?

Me : No.

Man : Ms Lim, please?

Me : There is no Ms Lim.

Man : Ehh…..? I am from XX Water Filter Co….bla…bla….

Me : Aisehman…what does it take for your kongsi to update records? I have told your kongsi ten thousand times liao…I am Ms Tan…it's T-A-N.



Man : Err…arrr…err….dunno lar…..bla…bla….


Me : Dunno????? T-A-N larrrrrr…..Please get that right, OK?


That poor chap was trying to explain that he is merely the store-hand and that record-keeping is not his purview,etc..etc. I have heard that line a million times…”That this one is not done by me…it’s a different department…I am new here la...bla…bla…...” And the one that always gets my goat is “I DUNNO.” That’s the problem with many companies. The training of their staff, more so those who deal directly with customers, leaves much to be desired. If the bosses DUNNO that ‘I DUNNO' is not an acceptable answer, then they have no business being in the business. Whoever will have faith and confidence in ‘I DUNNOs’, anyway?

Sitting on the sofa reading the newspapers, he overheard me giving an earful to the chap and he just couldn’t contain a chuckle.

He : heee…heee…..Kesian that fella lar….seven-early eight-early, you kena him lidat.

Me : Told that stooopid kongsi berapa kali liao…gua mia nama Ms TAN.

He : Small matter nia lar…

Me : What??? Change my name…..change my ancestors’ name..bla..bla...


p.s. I think I need help with paragraph indentations. :P


 
posted by nyonyapenang at 2:12 PM, | 38 comments
Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Year of the Rat

Past week was sheer madness. There were just so many things to get done…the ‘TO DO’ list somehow got longer with new items added just as I ticked off the numbers one by one. And Momma Mouse decided to spring a surprise on me.....a not too pleasant one, I must say. Last Friday, I saw this outside my gate. Grosssssss..........

*taken using a borrowed phone....picture quality not good*


And Saturday morning, I found this next to my car. It was alive and rolling on the grass and it squeaked too when I used a piece of paper and grabbed it up. The 2 little mousies must have dropped out from the car. Eeeeekkkksssss!!


OMG, Momsie Rat chose to nest in my car and for the past few days, I was at my wits end trying to find the nest. My car stank to high heaven…I suspected there must be a few more dead and rotting somewhere. Ewwwwww…….


Sent the car to the normal car-wash for them to jet-spray them mousies out but nopes…tak jalan langsung…the stench got worse by the day. Tak boleh tahan liao…I drove the car straight to the workshop at the dealership and begged them to get the carcass out. After 2 days there, they finally found half of a rotten baby mouse stuck in the fender. And despite the vacuuming and washing, the horrible decaying smell is still there. I just got from the kind satay lady 3 pieces of charcoal to put inside the car to absorb the foul smell.


A Momma Rat nesting in my car! The mechanics laughed……"Go buy numbers!" they said. My clients laughed…."Can lidat one ar?" they asked. My friends laughed......"Never seen before wor?" they chorussed. I also laughed.......

HERE'S WISHING MY DEAR FRIENDS

KEONG HEE HUAT CHYE.


 
posted by nyonyapenang at 1:32 AM, | 59 comments