It is supposed to be a buyer willing, seller willing situation BUT most times, we notice and we know that this formula is never balanced…it is ALMOST ALWAYS tipped to one side. Our need/want to have that item/commodity is greater than what that person needs to sell/offer, so we are holding the shorter end of the stick, so to speak.
I have faced many instances whereby the ‘seller’ gives me the signal loud and clear - 'TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.’ It’s a Hobson’s choice, really. So, I would just focus on the task at hand and do what I was supposed to do and move along. And occasionally, a few curse words under my breathe once I am out of earshot, do make me feel a wee bit better.
Say, you need some information on certain things and you know that the shortest and fastest route to get what you want is to see a certain Mr A and this dear Mr A is known to be a pain in the neck. How would you approach this situation? Grit your teeth and smile your sweetest smile and do some polishing if need be, and get going with your objective and then scoot? Or do you show him that you can be an equal or worse pain?
I would chose the first – I’ll stick to my objective, that is to get what I want as fast as possible and with the least of hassles and I am out of there. I do not fancy wasting my time debating and arguing with Mr A eventhough I may find him obnoxious or whatever. Nevermind that. For selfish reasons, I shall bear and tolerate just for the sake of not wanting to spend any extra minute there and to allow him the pleasure of making things difficult for me.
A few of my friends and relatives do not share my views. It is akin to ‘groveling’, they say. They believe in always standing their ground and pushing their case. This, I fully understand and I know where they are coming from…..to stand firm , lest be seen as a weakling. But I have observed scenarios whereby they went on the ‘offensive’ - instead of gently explaining their case, they took a harder stand and in the process, rubbed against the grain and got the man’s goat instead. And it is funny to see them come back hopping mad that they did not get what they want. They cry unfairness….they cry injustice…..they cry victimization…and they can cry until they turn blue. If only they realized that the length of the stick they were holding was never equal to begin with, and neither was the playing field level, perhaps they would cry less and be more proactive. And it never hurts to be a wee bit more humble and polite and things may just turn out smoothly and pleasantly….and better than expected too.
We cannot always get everything we want but we can always try to make it easier to get what we want. And hopefully, we get to go off with a smile instead of a growl.
'SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI.'