Sunday, October 14, 2007

Make It Easier

Each day in our dealings, we would be presented with many instances whereby we need to interact with others and ‘negotiate’ so as to finally come to a mutually acceptable conclusion with as least trouble as possible. We ‘negotiate’ with people in our family, our friends, our acquaintances, our colleagues, our clients, our suppliers and just about anybody else we come into contact with. It is actually either we are ‘SELLING’ to someone or that someone is ‘SELLING’ to us.

It is supposed to be a buyer willing, seller willing situation BUT most times, we notice and we know that this formula is never balanced…it is ALMOST ALWAYS tipped to one side. Our need/want to have that item/commodity is greater than what that person needs to sell/offer, so we are holding the shorter end of the stick, so to speak.

I have faced many instances whereby the ‘seller’ gives me the signal loud and clear - 'TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.’ It’s a Hobson’s choice, really. So, I would just focus on the task at hand and do what I was supposed to do and move along. And occasionally, a few curse words under my breathe once I am out of earshot, do make me feel a wee bit better.

Say, you need some information on certain things and you know that the shortest and fastest route to get what you want is to see a certain Mr A and this dear Mr A is known to be a pain in the neck. How would you approach this situation? Grit your teeth and smile your sweetest smile and do some polishing if need be, and get going with your objective and then scoot? Or do you show him that you can be an equal or worse pain?

I would chose the first – I’ll stick to my objective, that is to get what I want as fast as possible and with the least of hassles and I am out of there. I do not fancy wasting my time debating and arguing with Mr A eventhough I may find him obnoxious or whatever. Nevermind that. For selfish reasons, I shall bear and tolerate just for the sake of not wanting to spend any extra minute there and to allow him the pleasure of making things difficult for me.

A few of my friends and relatives do not share my views. It is akin to ‘groveling’, they say. They believe in always standing their ground and pushing their case. This, I fully understand and I know where they are coming from… stand firm , lest be seen as a weakling. But I have observed scenarios whereby they went on the ‘offensive’ - instead of gently explaining their case, they took a harder stand and in the process, rubbed against the grain and got the man’s goat instead. And it is funny to see them come back hopping mad that they did not get what they want. They cry unfairness….they cry injustice…..they cry victimization…and they can cry until they turn blue. If only they realized that the length of the stick they were holding was never equal to begin with, and neither was the playing field level, perhaps they would cry less and be more proactive. And it never hurts to be a wee bit more humble and polite and things may just turn out smoothly and pleasantly….and better than expected too.

We cannot always get everything we want but we can always try to make it easier to get what we want. And hopefully, we get to go off with a smile instead of a growl.


And here's wishing all my Muslim friends

posted by nyonyapenang at 1:32 AM, |


  At 4:33 AM Blogger FireHorse said:
OMG I tink I can die a hapi woman liao, 1st time in mai blogging life, i kam here first, wah must faster go buy lottery....
I share the same sentiments as you, my focus is on my goal and everything else is just a means to an end.
yup, i agree with nyonyapenang, the one who can "ride with the tide" almost always end up the eat a little humble pie, smile ur sweetest, "reduce the amount of needless torture suffered" is better than standing firm and spend endless hours "playing tug of war". Drain energy, tiring..better get it done faster, go home sleep better :) thats my view
  At 1:22 AM Anonymous Angeleyes said:
Nyonya! Miss your blog lar! Me sooo lazy lately sampai never drop by our cantil mia rumah...

Hope you have a great long weekend!

Btw, I hate to 'negotiate' too as I always have difficulties in winning! LOL
  At 7:35 PM Blogger savante said:
Now what was it exactly that you wanna buy and sell :P
  At 7:46 PM Blogger ehon said:
sweet! simply sweet! :D i couldn't agree more. :)
  At 7:47 AM Blogger FireHorse said:
NYONYA! NYONYA! I kam bek telyu dis. Lemember I say 1st time I 1st kometer in your blog must be lucki right. Well I go puak keow in kasino Kaching!! Kaching!! win marnie on slot machine, kamsiah nyonya bling me luck :o)
  At 11:24 AM Blogger U.Lee said:
Hi Nyonya, reading your post, I can see 'diplomacy' can be your middle name.
Happy holidays to you, UL.
  At 11:31 AM Blogger Nightwing said:
Helo Nyonya, stick to what u think works for you. Bear and grit can work for some but not many.

About safe and do it once u r in the car..:)

Take care now.
  At 3:04 AM Blogger angel said:
Jz want to thank you for the wishes, NP...
  At 9:48 AM Blogger J.T. said:
I agree with you, Nyonya. Those who can ride the tide, usually come out winners. It is not easy because we have to grit our teeth and take all the b.s. thrown our way but sometimes we have to do that to get things we need.

Sometimes I just cannot take it anymore, I have to stand my ground... especially when things do get out of hand. Most of the time, when I need something done, I choose to focus on my goal.

As the hubby says, "beggars can't be choosers." That is the way some situations are in life and we just have to take the b.s. with a promise that we get results in the end.
  At 6:44 PM Blogger Winn said:
i try but...duno la. my smile wont be as comfortably happy anymore i guess...:p

i ll turn silence without knowing.
  At 11:46 PM Blogger u-jean said:
selamat hari hartal. i've posted something on my blog about it. do check it out. it is your right as a malaysian to know... thanks...
not groveling one bit. just get in, finish the task and leave, with niceties in place. just like you lah.
I came from Ah Pek's blog and I got to say that I like your blog a lot. :)
  At 2:48 PM Blogger ruby ahmad said:
Hi Nyonyapenang,

A few of us have slowed down in our blogging activities and I must admit I ahve not been blog hopping as much. Anyway, I am here just to say hello. Take care dear.
  At 7:40 PM Anonymous Anonymous said:
When you feel unhappy or sad, why not listen to some oldies like Andy Williams,'A time for us', or,'When my blue moon turns to gold again', 'I'll remember you'. Francis Yip as well Rebecca Pan sings some nice oldies too.
Have a glass of fresh Sunkist when listening. FMY.