Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Mismatch?
When someone chose someone to be their spouse, we can safely assume that both of them would have have fulfilled each other's criteria of an ideal if not, perfect match. The couple do not owe anybody any explanation as to their decision of choosing each other but we as bystanders very often form our own opinions as to the suitability of the match.
We are not them, so we do not know the chemistry between them. What we do know are actually quite superficial only - we see only the surface and we draw our own conclusions on why we think this particular match is made in heaven or otherwise.
We may have seen many unions which we think are physical mismatches, something like beauty and the beast or a handsome stallion and an old monkey. To us, this is 'tak padan'. What did she see in him or what hold has she got on him? Is love really that blind?
And social mismatches - say, he is a foreign-trained highly qualified scion from a prominent family while she is just a simple village girl with only perhaps an elementary education. Or the other way round where he is a lowly office peon and she is the heiress of a conglomerate. It is not uncommon to see families torn assunder because two people decide to marry and two families decide to fight the decision: all because of different social standing, different colour, different religion and all else different you can come up with.
What about marriage between a young single man and a normal working-class widow/divorcee with an 'extra baggage' of 4 young children or between a single lady and a widower/divorcee with maybe 3 small ones too? I suppose people will not think too harshly of the young lady but for the young man and a much older woman, tongues might just go a-wagging. What morals!
All these and more, we have read in books, seen in the movies and perhaps personally know of relatives and friends in similar circumstances. So, what's new? Nothing really, I should say. But then, it never fails to arouse some sort of curiosity or maybe just a cursory enquiry when such a perceived 'mismatch' is presented.
We are not them, so we do not know the chemistry between them. What we do know are actually quite superficial only - we see only the surface and we draw our own conclusions on why we think this particular match is made in heaven or otherwise.
We may have seen many unions which we think are physical mismatches, something like beauty and the beast or a handsome stallion and an old monkey. To us, this is 'tak padan'. What did she see in him or what hold has she got on him? Is love really that blind?
And social mismatches - say, he is a foreign-trained highly qualified scion from a prominent family while she is just a simple village girl with only perhaps an elementary education. Or the other way round where he is a lowly office peon and she is the heiress of a conglomerate. It is not uncommon to see families torn assunder because two people decide to marry and two families decide to fight the decision: all because of different social standing, different colour, different religion and all else different you can come up with.
What about marriage between a young single man and a normal working-class widow/divorcee with an 'extra baggage' of 4 young children or between a single lady and a widower/divorcee with maybe 3 small ones too? I suppose people will not think too harshly of the young lady but for the young man and a much older woman, tongues might just go a-wagging. What morals!
All these and more, we have read in books, seen in the movies and perhaps personally know of relatives and friends in similar circumstances. So, what's new? Nothing really, I should say. But then, it never fails to arouse some sort of curiosity or maybe just a cursory enquiry when such a perceived 'mismatch' is presented.
posted by nyonyapenang at 12:01 AM, | 
11 Comments:
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You talking about Siti? :-P
I agree. An insecure person would usually go for a more matured and stable figure who can give them the security they crave. Naturally, our choices are pretty much in accordance to our needs. (not just physical needs lar...)lol
Love is not just a feeling. It's a commitment. As I've mentioned in Ah Pek's blog, the consideration of an union between two person is a sum of many parts. Age is not the only factor. :-)
I agree. An insecure person would usually go for a more matured and stable figure who can give them the security they crave. Naturally, our choices are pretty much in accordance to our needs. (not just physical needs lar...)lol
Love is not just a feeling. It's a commitment. As I've mentioned in Ah Pek's blog, the consideration of an union between two person is a sum of many parts. Age is not the only factor. :-)
Cinta itu buta.
Or, like what one of my friends like to say, Love Blinds? ;)
I like your writings, nyonya, I likes...
I like your writings, nyonya, I likes...
love is blind/love blinds?
hmmm....i think that's a perception only and i believe that it is never blind as far as the lovebirds are concerned - they see something beautiful and discover something special in each other. ;)
hmmm....i think that's a perception only and i believe that it is never blind as far as the lovebirds are concerned - they see something beautiful and discover something special in each other. ;)
angel,
tq.
m trying to be coherent. LOL
tq.
m trying to be coherent. LOL
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if you are talking about her, like helen said, i dowan to comment.
if you are talking randomly, i'll say,
"love is in the eye of the beholder"
if you are talking randomly, i'll say,
"love is in the eye of the beholder"
I still cynically believe that we are inevitably affected by people around us when it comes to choosing our partners. And I wasn't referring solely to all, but the closer ones whom we deem important to accept who we opt to be with.
Although it seems fairly normal for lovebirds to retort and claim that what they have between each other is none other than their own business, hence disregarding how others see them, it will not be easy for them to eliminate the stigma others impose on them.
Or maybe I'm just being too cynical in this sense...
Although it seems fairly normal for lovebirds to retort and claim that what they have between each other is none other than their own business, hence disregarding how others see them, it will not be easy for them to eliminate the stigma others impose on them.
Or maybe I'm just being too cynical in this sense...