Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Faux Pas

Aiyah, I wished the ground would just open and swallow me up there and then. It was a faux pas. Soooooo…..malu!

I was at S’s place last week to get some paperwork done when one of her sisters, B came back with their mom from the morning market. Greeted each other and I continued with my task at hand. After that, S got the househelp to serve us brunch.

It’s been quite awhile since I last met the family and of course we chatted quite a bit. My friends’ mom is a very kind and gentle lady and each time she sees me, she would never fail to enquire about my 2 boys – where are they studying, how are they doing, when am I bringing them to see her, etc…… I would reciprocate and ask about her too and also about her many, many grandchildren back in Alor Setar.

Makcik : Ahhh……Lyana tak mai kali ni. Dia sibuk.

Me : Dah dapat kerja?

Makcik : Tak. Busy with planning for her akad nikah.

Me : (eyes wide open in surprise - Lyana is about 18 years old only)
(and I was too excited sampai speaking bahasa rojak liao)

Me : Wuaah, want to kahwin lagi?
(**OMG, Alamak! What did I just say????**)

Me : Sori, sori, ma’af, Makcik! I mean to say “want to kahwin ALREADY?”

“Hahahahaha…..” Everyone was laughing at my blunder. Except me. It was not funny at all.
posted by nyonyapenang at 12:09 AM, |


  At 12:28 AM Blogger angel said:
hahaha... nyonya too sexcited liao! but it was a 'cute' mistake... no? hehe...
haha..funny mah. No?
Lukcily they are close friends.
  At 2:53 AM Blogger ikanbilis said:
belum kahwin ka sudah kahwin? wah so young mau kahwin ka?

*sayangz back to nyonya*
  At 5:33 AM Anonymous Uncle Lee said:
Hello NonyaPenang, gua chiak paw siaw eng fool around the Net and came across your site.It made my day.Wa,your site buat gua rindu betul la.I spent half the morning going thru your site as well Helen's..ada time will pop into the others.So nice to read all their comments and hilarious replies.
Reading your merapeks somehow brings back memories of my nakal days in Penang,ladies in sarong kebayas, keronchong music,dudok on the seawall at Gurney drive weekend nights admiring the SYT's(sweet young things)walking by. And unforgetable moonlight nights dancing at the E&O Hotel.
What helped revived these memories is your typical Nonya Malay, again bringing back memories of the lovely young Nonyas I dated back in the 70's.So lembut, so feminine, so gentle in their soft spoken Penang Hokkien champor Malay.
Like Frank Sinatra's song 'My Way',yes...I did it my way with few regrets but too few to mention.
Just incase you wondering siapa ni? This coming to you from Canada,from a gentleman heading into Twilight time but hati always with thoughts of Penang and Ipoh,memories of the way we were.
I will now have your site as well the many other's here to bring some warmth to our coming cold winter days.
With best regards.UL.
kekeke i could not help but stifle a laugh behind my workdesk while reading this. i think i would react to the same too. good one!
  At 9:30 AM Anonymous mott said:
LOL!! Kartun betul! But seriously..18 nak kahwin already?
  At 10:50 AM Anonymous JL said:
LOL... *wipe tears* so malu hor...

My kes #205:
Met a friend at 1U

Me: hi D, so'park tor' ka?
D: No la, just came out of the cinema. Stupid show...

(I then noticed a lady standing behind her)

Me: you so 'hau soon' bring your mom to watch a movie :)
D: *mata terbeliak & giggle* She's my sister la NOT mom
Me: ..... *senyum bodoh* paiseh paiseh

Eventhough D's sis just smiled at me, but i swear i saw some asap coming out from her head :P
  At 11:02 AM Anonymous ian said:
We need a faux pas once in a while to remind us of how smart we have been all the while...
dis is what happens when the tongue works faster than the brain. ;)

king's wife,
yalor, nasib baik they neber stuff the selipar into my mulut. ;)

some of my malay frens tell me that they do not believe in paktoring lama-lama mia - tak manis wor, macam tu.
**sayangz, sayangz & power to azhan**

hi uncle lee,
a very, very warm welcome to you!
uncle lee oo ho boh? gua chin hua hee uncle lee singgah kat sini. sama-sama aje, kadang-kadang gua pun chiak pak siaw eng; macam some of my folks in penang cakap, "chiak pah lien chew-chew" (so free until twirling the moustache). LOL
aiyoh, uncle buat gua rasa terus nostalgic - enjoying the breeze sitting in the E&O garden facing the
sea, gurney drive, esplanade, eating 'choon piah' at springtide hotel tg bungah, enjoying live band performaces at the many clubs, etc....
and. your usage of 'SYT' reminds me of a journalist SH Tan(may his soul RIP) who wrote many, many old heartwarming stories.
uncle khi kanatai ku liao boh? eng oo tooi lai penang kia-kia(jalan-jalan) boh?
oso, uncle eng-eng tulis blog la. please let me know your site, ok? gua mau baca semua and relive memories juga.
do visit again anytime. my sayangzzz to uncle lee and family. ;)

the lazy bloghead,
long time no hear! lei hou mo?
so malu.... lucky thing they were not angry with me.

ya lor, my brain mia wordprocessor short-circuit la.

you oso kena before ye? LOL
nasib baik yang tu sister. just imagine if that lady was on the 1st date wif your fren. proly a handbag would have landed on your head. kakakaka......
**pssst...whisper to me your blog name.****

we are ALL amart mah. ;)
  At 12:18 PM Blogger Wennnn said:
Hahahah Nyonya tat was a good one!! It reminded me of someone who did a faux pas too!!! Anyway guess U r feeling ,much better now lor!! After all the food poisining!! I got mine too when I was back in M'sia!! I am allergic to oneparticular type of mushrooms la!! And when I went back last time I kena twice food poisining!! So I know how it felt the pain!!
  At 12:20 PM Anonymous suituapui said:
Slip of the tongue, not the thought of mind lah! Sometimes we get our foot in our mouth! Wah! Nyonya ada peminat baru - Unker Lee tu!!!
  At 12:31 PM Blogger Bernard said:
LOL nyonya... joke of the day!
  At 12:41 PM Blogger AceOne said:
Luckily Makcik didn't pengsan there and then.wakakaka..
  At 1:08 PM Blogger Sasha said:
eh i kena b4 also la.. memang memaluying kan... kan?? hehehe u will get over it .. :)
kekeeekke....malu abit nevermind least make ppl laugh ma...its an honest mistake at least...
  At 2:31 PM Blogger Kenny Ng said:
When u too sexcited will be like dat ah? LOL...
  At 4:41 PM Blogger sming said:
as long makcik never get offended. ok lar.. hehehe...
but 18 getting married ?? oo.
anyway, glad u have recovered.. :)
please ler, next time must talk slow- slow. tok too fast become lidat la. :D
gua mia tummy sudah ok liao. thanks for your kind wishes.

tongue and mind not working together-gether. :)
so cikgu, ada blog tersembunyi kat mana-mana? gua nak baca dan komen sikit, boleh?

now talking about it, gua pun can laugh jugak. LOL

or kasi 'dettol' gua mia mulut. LOL

gua must try not to be so sexcited next time. ;)

i swear, no malice intended. ;)

when nyonya sexcited, nyonya naik lata.

the kind makcik paham gua mia bahasa rojak berkategori konpius la. LOL
oso, thanks for your kind wishes. gua much better ledi. ;)
  At 11:11 PM Anonymous Uncle Lee said:
Hi NonyaPenang,terima kaseh la for your kind words. Sebelum gua jalan jauh,your 'faux pas' encourages me buat lu senyum sikit re.....
1/Ada dua kawan after years of not seeing each other, one asked the other,"so..berapa anak ada now"? Replied the other friend,"ohh, gua ada three children, all girls, what about you"?
"Ahhh, I have two son's, both boys".
2/ There was this two Hokkien gentlemen in a nightclub requesting the DJ to main the song,"Ah Cheng buay loti". The DJ says,"mana ou 'Ah Cheng buay loti' song la"? "Ou la", answered the two guys. Of course there was some arguement of "boh la", and "ou la". The manager then got involved and after some head scratching realised,"ahhh, you want to request,"Unchained Melody, ahh"? "Tiok tiok la", answered the two guys. UL.
uncle lee,
kakakakaka......chio si gua liao!
uncle mesti plomis kerap-kerap singgah and share your jokes, ok?
kamsiah chay-chay. ;)
  At 12:16 AM Anonymous Uncle Lee said:
Hello NonyaPenang,to answer your reply,I am well and suka hati to be able to read your blog and all the replies in it with words that I have not heard a long time. Thank you. Regret gua tada own blog partly because gua punya pc Jurassic era, only good for email and surfing as well sometimes boh eng.
Your 'nostalgic'comments
brings back memories of the way we were, of nights of moonlight and roses, chup goh mei, of girls and ladies (those who missed the tongkang)throwing oranges into the sea. Gurney Drive? I used to enjoy the poh pia and oh chien there.
Balik Pulau? Still ada simpan the memories of me in my red MGB sports car, open top and all, my lovely sarong kebaya companion hair blowing in the wind, driving around Penang Island on a moonlight night, passing whispering palm trees along B. Pulau, silvery moon above, car cassette playing 'Bengawan Solo' as well soft Keronchong music. Magic is the moonlight when parked at Batu Ferringhi on a moonlight night watching the millions of stars twinkling above, the moon's red and orange reflections on the shimmering sea, soft white waves coming to shore complimented by the seductive, alluring scent of my lovely companion's 'L'air Du tempe' wisping by me in the cool breeze.
Not sure whether my initials carved on that big rock still there? Ha ha.
What about the panas goreng pisang at Vale of Tempe at nights? I sure assisted in helping that lady retire early.
Night clubs? Ahhh, had my Saturday night fevers at Continental Hotel's Skyroom Disco. But mostly at the E&0 Hotel dancing to the resident band's oldies and dancing to the strains of 'Beyond the reef,Pearly shells, To love again,I'll remember you" with the lovely, matured resident singer singing the songs in her soft, husky, sultry voice, me sweeping my lovely companion across the marble floor to a Foxtrot, waltz or to a 'La Cumparsita' or 'Orchids in the moonlight' Tango.
Sitting on the seawall at the rear of E&0? On a moonlight night? Hearing the ships in harbour and their haunting horn sounds as they depart for foreign shores. A chilled glass of Southern Comfort in my lovely partner's hand, me a Jack Daniels,just like in Perry Como's, "loveliest night of the year" song.
Alamak! So? You still remember Malay Mail's S.H.Tan and his SYT's? Yes, I still have some old clippings of some of my cheeky replies to him about Penang and Ipoh girls. I must look for them somewhere in my storeroom.
For me, it was a real pleasure and a privilage to have known him personally.
Okay la Nonya, gua suda merapek enough. But what with my windows now covered with ice, temp around -3'c, buka cherita with you of old days gone by makes me feel warm. Once again, terima kaseh and Happy Trails to you. Best regards, UL.
uncle lee,
hahahaha....jurassic era pulak. you're sooooo....funny la.
kamsiah again.
be my guest, drop by anytime. :)
  At 1:03 AM Anonymous Uncle Lee said:
Hi NonyaPenang, alamak merapek about Penang and moonlight nights gua lupa answer your reply....
1/ Gua lebeh dua puluh tahun disini Canada.
2/ Balek Penang chiak hong?
Ada...I think 9 years ago. But that was a flying trip actually to Ipoh 'tunjok muka' at a relative's journey to the Happy Hunting grounds', and churi stengah hari chabut Penang, for old time sake. Pai sei la. But takut nanti the oldie aunties and uncles chakap 'kurang hajar chilaka dia', and gua punya nama excluded from any future intended wills had to forget any memory sightseeing. Next trip tentu mesti la. I love Penang ferry. Lu ada experience moonlight night crossings (cannot afford sea cruise, ferry pun jadi la)on the ferry? Regards, UL.
  At 1:07 AM Blogger plink said:
...Lien chui chiew?!?!?!

WakakaLOLROTF! So many things I haven't heard in a while.

Speaking of which, there is also the story of the unfortunate KL-ite who went home to Penang. She went to market and in her out-of-practice Hokkien asked for a large amount of rempah....
uncle lee,
more than jee chap nee ti kanatai? chit puah angmoh ledi. LOL
uncle chin gau thiau boo hor. gua leh, got 2 left foot, so boleh lompat- lompat dan goyang-goyang sikit nia. uncle boleh kasi tuition ke? LOL
uncle kalau oo kee hoay, mesti lai chiak hong again.
and also when chiak pah siaw eng, ehki lai my blog phak-khok, phak-khok. ;)
**warmest sayangzzzz**
that man wanna buy 'chay-chay lampah' izzit????
  At 1:56 AM Anonymous Uncle Lee said:
Hello NonyaPenang,Gua ou eng now. Aiyohh, thank you la for your kind words.You so kind, you betul Nonya lady. Since now ada time sikit, can merepek, say, debate, argue or concur on the following, but this strictly gua punya experiences and observations. You can correct me if gua took wrong turning. Since my computer already Jurassic era, gua pun suda antique, so what I say below belong to the 50's, 60' and half of 70's. Why half? Disco suda sampai, habis cherita!
This I bring up because of some of my kakis my age here discreetly grumbling about their son's (boys, ha ha)choice of girlfriends they now going steady. One father said,"alamak, she expert buka tin la, die la that anak of mine, chiak lat ohh"! One Penang lady friend muttered,"aiyooh, my son now 28, chilaka fellow get girlfriend don't know how to cook, somemore smell my sambal belachan at home asked what's burning la she want to chabut, but he my mata apple loves my sambal, mati la dia, nasib"!
So I of course added my 25 cents worth that old days (re above years)practically all Malacca, Penang, Singapore etc Nonya daughters age 12 onwards must spend time in the kitchen observing and learning from their mothers sampai dapat mother's 1st Dan Degree on Nonya cooking, (of course sometimes a rattan or feather duster in mother's tangan helps in the motivation). Mother's final exam when daughter reaches 18 is she to cook 'ayam tempra, ponteh, udang masak lemak, beef rendang and most important of all, make a good sambal belachan, etc as well must at least lebeh kurang must pass 'Kueh kochi, layer cake, kueh bingka' standard to name a few. If father suda makan above food dishes let go a loud "buurrp", rub his tummy and compliment his can bet the mother will carry up her sarong jump for happiness, exclaimed loudly so neighbours can hear,"your daughter cook la"!
Then mesti learn to at least sew father's torn Pagoda singlet, sew brother's shirt button as well ironing, chuchi baju and keeping a tidy home. Mother with bedak sejuk on her face like Apache on warpath of course keeping close eye oh her.
For those young daughters who prefered instead parties, not interested to even learn something simple...maybe later in life miss the tongkang, got to throw oranges at Gurney drive on Chup Goh Mei nights, maybe semayang get laki can cook.
When I dated a girl those days, 2nd date of course, on way to her house I tarek putus my shirt button, then later tell her to excuse my shirt one button missing as sangkut on my car door, showing her the button, put on sad face like as if it's Arrow shirt....
Ahhh, if she immediately say, "come I sew for you" then bringing out her own small sewing box, itu la dia, got future, got hope.
On the other hand she says,"nanti ahh,I ask my mother to sew for you", game prepared to wear torn singlets if marraige on your mind.
Then on 3rd date, not necessary on moonlight night at Batu Ferringhi, mention "gua suka makan ikan geram assam". If she looks at you like as if hearing something about Einstein's theory on Relativity...saying "HUH"?
Change subject quick, talk about fashion or perfumes or shoes or where to eat good oh chien. Wait...wait, if she says,"aiyohh, my favorite la, you want I cook for you"? Wa! Kena lottery ohh! Boom time! But don't tell the mother yet, knowing what mothers are to sons, habis she spread the news at the kopi tiam next to market and next thing you know dapat phone calls from friends, ex-girlfriends congratulating you on coming marraige, maybe mistake 'got baby coming'. Mothers especially those brought up by krosang and sangul wearing mothers always proud and happy if dapat daughter in law boleh cook...wa, somemore hear can cook this difficult 'geram assam' dish too. Wa, this daughter in law sure dapat her big green Jade and diamond ring handed down from her mother as wedding present.
But I guess all the above now Jurassic history for us exiles, but maybe you guys in Malaysia your sons ada chance la.
You being a Nonya lady, what you think? Okay, gua chabut now, enough merepek. Best regards, UL.
uncle lee,
sekarang sini veli susah mau cari menantu 100% nyonya - can cook, can sew, can entertain as in 'eh jeep chau khah, eh choot tua tniah'. no more liao lor.
charbor-kia semua pun masuk sekolah belajar tinggi-tinggi - MBA la, PhD la, mana ada masa mau pegang cheng koo thooi leh? if needed, then in all probability is to tumbuk the jantan gatal mia muka nia la. LOL
but seriously, we do have many ladies and men as well who are very enthusiatic and passionate about all things peranakan and they are making every effort to keep the culture alive. ;)
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