Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Hang Loose

Did you read the news article in The Sunday Times about this remand prisoner who was found with a HANDPHONE hidden up his anus? Prison officials were conducting a routine search before sending that man back to his cell when they found a slim model shoved up his asshole. It was reported that probably the prisoner came into contact with family members while in court and was slipped the handphone.

It is quite common to find tubes or condom-filled drugs up that hole but a HANDPHONE????? This chap must be, hmmmm…. quite a guy and probably:-.

*He is well endowed with one big and loose asshole to be able to slip in a handphone easily and quickly, as well as to purge it out without too much trouble when the need arises. Just a simple 'hmmmmpppfff....'is all it takes. How eazy!

*He must have strong legs and has taken a silent vow not to sit down as long as that toy is up that hole. What is a little pain in return for greater gain? How macho!

*For obvious reasons, the phone must always be in ‘SILENT/VIBRA’ mode only. All those fancy ringtones of the latest hits just won’t do. And please, just a gentle vibration to indicate some incoming calls or sms, is all that is needed – too vigorous a shake might make him look like a jerrrkkk.....sporadically and attract unwanted attention. How cool!

*Just ask permission to answer nature’s call and then he gets to answer his cronies’ calls and sms at the same time. And perhaps, to enjoy a shake or two in private. How brilliant!

*It’s neither dirty nor ‘geli’. How can his own private and personal storage space be anything but clean. Smells, you say???? What smell? Heard of anybody complaining about the smell of their own shit? How lame!


By the way, what type of phone could that be? A Blackberry or a slick Samseng? Oooppss.....I mean a slick and chic Samsung.
 
posted by nyonyapenang at 12:25 AM, |

32 Comments:

  At 12:54 AM Blogger angel said:
Hahaha! I was thinking, it MUST be a Samseng... LOL! Or maybe a Penisonic. Ooops... Panasonic I mean... :P
angel,
hahaha.... in all probability, a Penishiokdick sounds like a perfect fit.
  At 1:02 AM Blogger plink said:
Sure anot? If rosak-rosak, then our friend end up Bokia then how?
  At 2:06 AM Blogger u-jean said:
i wonder what else can go in. food stuff??? PDA??? pepper spray???
  At 3:04 AM Blogger ikanbilis said:
yerr gelinyaaaaaaaaaa!!!
  At 5:56 AM Blogger Kak Teh said:
Nyonya penang, this is so out of character - but I cant help it...could it be a Nono*kia?
  At 6:13 AM Anonymous Jemima said:
I wonder if it is camera phone so he can take a picture of his own ass-hole everyday. LOL
The anus harbours one of the richest population of bacteria in the human body. Then he transfers some of the population to his mouth/ears when using the phone.

What else on our bodies do we do for other pleasures?
  At 9:51 AM Blogger jazzmint said:
wahh..liddat oso can!! I'm amazed. Must be one of those really slim n no sharp edges phone or else gona lah the buttock :p
waliau...what if the HP travels up leh!
  At 10:02 AM Blogger Kenny Ng said:
is he the new James Bond? Imagine if he using the Motorola tai kor tai (010) mia number last time... big big n can hit crabs 1... LOL
  At 10:06 AM Blogger ah nel said:
tat guy sure became millionaire when he came out as he can do advertising for the phone company...
slim phone til can stuck in the ass...LOL
  At 10:19 AM Anonymous suituapui said:
Ha ha ha ha ha! U're funny! Love the vibration bit! And that guy must be one big asshole!
  At 10:46 AM Blogger See Fei said:
damn funny this one! but how they put the charger in?
  At 12:09 PM Blogger Helen said:
lol It's scary what people shove up their asses. Seriously, what good does the handphone do? It'll probably run out of battery in a few days' time. But, I guess the relatives can always provide him new batteries to shove up there when they visit. lol
  At 12:19 PM Anonymous yeknee said:
convicts are very imaginative and creative..I heard of stories whereby they will swallow some nail clips or pen knife so that they can pass them out in prisons.. chills..
  At 12:19 PM Anonymous ian said:
Yeah, like seefei, the first thing that came into mind was, "where would the charger go?" and will there be a power outlet in the cell?
Hmmmm..stop giving me ideas....:D
  At 2:26 PM Blogger dreamie said:
i think tis is a super micro hdphone, which differs from the norm, not only user friendly and veli body friendly too ! ,, hehehee...
plink,
bokia???? hahaha.....

u-jean,
i just can't imagine. ;)

kak teh,
i'm curious too. ;)

jemima,
must the latest model. LOL

las montanas,
ooooh..... personal consumption.

jazzmint,
we're trying to guess the model.

laundryamah,
travels up & come out from the mouth you mean? then he is a damn good magician. LOL

kenny,
you mean those that looked like radio wan ar or those water-bottle type with long antenna? too big ler.

ah nel,
wuuah, good idea wor. you better go and apply to be his agent.
you see, the recently released jailbird (30 yrs in prison) in now like a celebrity liao.

suituapui,
he sure is!

see fei,
maybe using extra long-life battery??

helen,
ya, batteries on the next shove. LOL

yeknee,
i should say many have good brains but perhaps used for not so noble purposes.

ian,
or maybe, a charger is already up another person's hole. hmmmm...perhaps the wardens should now look for the charger.
**OK, bend forward**

thompsonboy,
not a handphone, please!
kakakaka........

dreamie,
maybe it's a special home-made unit. LOL
omg! the ass can really store some serious shit!
  At 3:59 PM Blogger Bernard said:
Lots of things can get lost in there... dildo... coke bottle.
Errr...err...err....*Speechless*
  At 5:21 PM Blogger JoMel said:
hahahah... *speechless* too!!
  At 5:25 PM Blogger savante said:
At least he must have enjoyed it :P
bernard,
you've found those items in the course of your work?

king's wife,
so now instead of saying 'shitting bricks', we can say ' shitting handphones'. LOL

immomsdaughter & lil'joy,
so if someone loses his/her handphone, please do a thorough search. LOL
EWWWWW

i think it shud b a motorola ..u kno?those razr phones...but its abit too wide..so i gez its that thin little mp3-player-like phone from nokia...kekeke

its disgusting lah!!!...can u imagine what would happen if he had to let go an almighty fart???? WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
btw...i think he shud b gay 'x'
savante,
must have, i guess. ;)

pink cotton,
fuiyoh, mp3 player summore ah?
LOL
This is shocking news
I still can't believe it
hhhmmm
zeroimpact,
what will they think of next?
  At 12:52 AM Anonymous Angeleyes said:
eewwwyuuccck!!
can't imagine further...