Sunday, June 24, 2007

Honour Thy Word

Very so often, I have been chided by family and friends for being too trusting, for taking things at face value and not doing enough of thorough questioning. I have been chided too, for always choosing to see things in a clear black and white – no ‘greys’, please; and always looking for answers to be just a simple ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ – please cut out the ‘maybe’.

I am told too, that I am just too simplistic to expect things and situations to be so clearly defined and that I am looking for disillusionment and am a good candidate for endless hurts and pains. Perhaps…perhaps…

But why not, may I ask? When I say ‘YES’ to something, I can assure you I will see it to fruition and I would expect the same of my family, relatives and friends. And when my answer is ‘NO’, I would also expect my wish to be respected and of course, it certainly is reciprocal. Why complicate matters further with shades of doubt and uncertainty and indecisiveness?

I am brought up to be truthful, to be honest and to be sincere. Profess the TRUTH and the TRUTH shall set you free….yes, I wanna be free to laugh and free to cry.

HONESTY is the best policy. I wanna sleep well and a clean heart and clear conscience will certainly reward me with a good restful sleep.

And SINCERITY begets sincerity. I’d be lying if I were to say that I have not had slaps on my face from people close to me. It sure has happened more times than I care to remember and albeit the deep crushing hurts and pains, I’d lick my wounds and bounce back with renewed faith in friendship. Just a couple of uncomfortable instances will not cause me to lose faith.

And always HONOUR THY WORD.…yes, keep your word. Our word is as good as gold. This, I believe can never be stressed enough. I have come across too many, just too many who have no qualms about going back on their words. Why? How come? I will just never understand. Perhaps, to them, talk is cheap. Open the mouth and just let the words flow out to the winds and can then just conveniently forget that those words ever rolled off the tongue. It’s so sad….so sad that they never realize the terrible damage they have caused to their integrity. And perhaps, to them, integrity is too cheap to worth bothering at all.

I am old-fashioned – I hold all these simple values close to my heart. TRUTHFULNESS, HONESTY, SINCERITY and always to HONOUR THY WORD….these timeless principles have guided me well.


posted by nyonyapenang at 4:59 PM, |


  At 6:49 PM Blogger angel said:
Ditto to everything!

Have a good week too!
life your life the way you want it, Kak Nyonya! :)
  At 7:24 PM Blogger ah nel said:
khekmak!i same same oso like truthful and agree tat some ppl just take their word so light... ;)

khehkia plomise as sure ring ring u when free ya then we limteh from breakfast til supper...ok boh? ;D
  At 7:32 PM Blogger J.T. said:
I suppose some say "maybe" because they do not want to commit to something but don't want to disappoint the other person.
However, it can get tiring hearing that when it is used too often. Most of the time, it is better to just hear a straightforward "yes" or "no".
Sometimes I cannot tell ahead if I am able to commit to something. So, instead of saying "maybe", I will ask if I can get back to them before a cut-off date and I follow up with a definite "yes" or "no". I am not sure if some people like this but at least I am not leaving them hanging. When I was younger, I used "maybe" for some situations but I learned over time that it is not fair to keep people in the dark.
It is frustrating to come across individuals who do not hold up to these virtues you mentioned here but we can only do so much.
All we can do is live by it ourselves (as you do) and hopefully we affect the others in a positive way. You have a good weekend. :)
  At 8:21 PM Blogger PEARLY said:
dear Nyonyapeang:

Yes I totaly agree with you , is rather hard when you facing family member ,I am the same sometime in that position , sometime also friend or family there do like to push it throught.
sometime I AM like you, but ppl trying to take us for a ride too , becos I can be rude and give face to ppl , there will try on more .
the end of the day you or me will get upsad .so I think take it easy lor nyonyapenag as you say be4 . as long as you know your heart no hurt to anyone , yourself come first , I am try hard to learn to put my hand up now say.....NO...... or.....YES.
you have a lovely day ok .
thinking of you all time cheer up babe xxxxxxxx
There's a saying, "One kind of rice feeds a hundred different kind of people" Nowsaday, even kids learn to scheme, manipulate against one another to get what they want..

You make the world a simpler, better place to live in nyonyapenang :)

have a great week nyonyapenang
Sometimes I use "maybe" for questions I really do not have a "yes" or "no" answer.

But what you've wrote made perfect sense. :)
I used to be like you...., truthful, honest, sincere and honour all my words. Well... still got a bit lah, especially to my friends!

I have been betrayed and taught many lessons until I have to change tactics. Depend on who I deal with. As I'm in business, I meet many businessmen and government officials from different countries. Each country has its own way of business dealings. Like the wise used to say, meet a ghost, talk ghost language. Meet a human, talk human language. :)
  At 2:01 AM Blogger U.Lee said:
Hi Nyonya, This post of yours very interesting. I too have fallen into rose bush thorns and been hurt, cut up, damaged, sliced and torn more times than you can cut a cake...because I too trusted friends,(and family too!) both women and men. Especially men.
Needless to say I have sent a few to the dentist too.
You will always know, feel, recognise re men...who is a gentleman and who is a bum! And that is too diplomatic a word I use here.
A gentleman's word should, must be his bond, you should be able to take it to the bank
A man might not have 50 cents in his pocket, but his word should be PRICELESS!
I personally respect, salute and honour such men. But unfortunately there are more bums then good men. The respect you get with money in your pocket is artificial, against real respect for your word and trust. That money cannot buy.
I personally have experienced, seen, heard of how men break their words then give some cockamamie and mangga voongga excuses. All that don't cut with me, you break your word, be a man and don't come up with stories...apologise and then find a rope go hang yourself!
However, I have experienced young kids of 12, boys and girls who keep their words like a bank vault, and as a joke I did my best to entice, bribe ("give you 5 comic books"?)...they never budged. "Sorry uncle, I gave my word".
Nyonya, I shook their hands! 12/15 year olds!!!
I have personally seen how some grown men and women who break up friend's or people's married lives by not following the 3 Monkey's diciplines...they talked!
To them malicious gossip is their spice of life, irresponsibility their main course, and what rewards they see?...A friend's love life breaking up, friendship broken.
Yes Nyonya, I have seen them all.
Once a woman or a man says "no"....he or she must respect that unless he/she is mentally challenged.
Nyonya, we all learn what life can be, its pains, its joys...its only by being burnt, hopefully not 3rd degree burns, we become better people, better friends.
Hope you have not been too badly damaged, Nyonya. There are still good people around, in Puchong, in England, Singapore, KL....etc.
You keep well, Nyonya. UL.
  At 9:16 AM Blogger famil said:
I believe in human as a human, and give them all the benefits of doubts.

Friends call me stupid for being too naive.

But you'll live happier if you dont harbor suspicion towards another being.. thats the motto i live by. ;)~

Also, we need these kind of people to enrich our life experiences, and to balance out our karma..

better being duped than loosing limbs.. hi hik..
  At 10:17 AM Blogger Pi Bani said:
Hear! Hear! Even workwise where $$$$$$ is involved, when I feel I cannot deliver on time, I might as well just say no rather than say can, can, can (money, money in the mind)... and then when the deadlines can't be met, start thinking of all sorts of excuses. To me in anything that we do, it is important to gain people's trust. And to gain people's trust, we must honour our word.
yeah way to go! of course truthfulness is important cos i believe if u don't tell the truth whatever u try to cover will come back to haunt u la!
  At 3:12 PM Blogger Jonzz said:
I believe being truthful is much more easier than talking in grays, making excuses, toning down a unpleasant issue, and not saying what you mean. It actually makes life so much simpler and there is a lesser risk of being misunderstood

Problem is there is so much mistrust around these days. People just cannot handle the truth. They want sweet talk. Promises have become cheap.

It's times like this when you have to choose to stick to your principles or act like the rest of the world. I think we need more honest people in this world.
  At 3:33 PM Anonymous JL said:
Yes Kak Nyonya...

*angguk kapla*
  At 4:03 PM Blogger eve said:
Aiyo..why today so chimm....Eh kalau i ada tersalah cakap ke , or go back on my promise ke..Pls feel free to belasah me..but before you do , kena tell me apa kesalahan first..nanti kena buta pulak...Hehe..
  At 4:44 PM Blogger Helen said:
I agree with j.t. People can break their promises becos many times it is made out of necessity and not from the heart.

"Let's meet up again soon.." Many times we'll just say the obligatory OK OK. Even we know we won't. :-)
hi angel,
thank you for everything. :)

let's make this week a blast of a week.!
hi zeyn di invidia,
selamat datang....jemput masuk! let me serve you a cup of kopi-o kaw.

you are right the end of the day, we are solely accountable for our own actions.

thanks so much for taking the time to pop by here and please feel free to drop a few lines, anytime.

you have a great week. :)
hi ah nel,
i know you are a good khehkia and i'll be more than happy to go limteh with you. gimme kring-kring. :)
hi j.t.,
I fully agree with you. Yes, we use 'maybe' when we are not ready to commit and I'd think that it's not an answer per se. Yes, it's fair enough to ask for the deadline/cut-off date to get back with firm answer - a 'Yes' or a 'No'. And to change from a 'Yes' to a 'No' and vice versa every other day, I find it unacceptable.

And of course nothing is carved in stone and any change in a situation or circumstances still would warrant a simple and straightforward 'Yes' or 'No'.
Nothing moves with indecisiveness.

Ya, it's frustrating but I'd tell myself, "Okie, I've decided not to allow that person to frustrate me anymore." and I'll go my merry way.

Thanks so much for this insightful comment. I appreciate it lots. :)
hi pearly,
i know what you mean, pearly. ya, it can be quite sensitive especially with family members but then again, we cannot always be doing the 'gostan' and 'gostan' summore...sometimes must pull handbrake. hahahaha.....

well, as long as we keep to the right side of the road and don't simply bang everybody down, can liao lor.

thank you so much for your kind thoughts. i have to apologise for being absent from blogosphere for the past week but i assure you, all of you are always in my thoughts.

have a great day, pearly. :)
hi winniethepooh,
you are so right to the point....macam-macam pun ada and it sure is a dog-eat-dog world out there and sure, things are getting complicated by the day.

well, i always remind myself that at the end of the day, i want to be able to sleep well and a clear conscience allows me that. a restful sleep is priceless.

have a good day, winnie. :)
hi day-dreamer,
i don't see the word 'maybe' as an answer per se. it will need a firm 'YES' or 'NO' to wrap things up. :)
hi eastcoastlife,
eventhough you may have changed tactics, i'd still think that you are still somehow guided by a certain set of principles you hold dear. in your business dealings, can i see it through my simple eyes like playing a game of chess? it's all about strategy, ya?

and everyone plays to win. :)
Hi Uncle Lee,
I salute you! You sure have earned your 'stripes' from all the cuts and the mincing you've experienced. You sure is one Ph.D graduate from the School of Hard Ketuks. hahahaha.

Sure, I got cut and bruised and burnt and like I wrote in my post, "I’d lick my wounds and bounce back with renewed faith in friendship. Just a couple of uncomfortable instances will not cause me to lose faith."
I'd like to believe that there are MORE GOOD PEOPLE than bad out there.
And Uncle Lee, I believe I have a few good friends in Canada too.

Thank you so much for this most eloquent comment. I appreciate it lots.

And have a great summer day, Uncle Lee. :)
hi famil,
harbouring suspicions, i believe, will cause it to eat into our soul and i am sure it's not a pleasant feeling.
i want to be free and i want to be happy. sure, i do get cuts and all...but i just don't allow the wound to fester.
hi pi bani,
Same goes here...never bite off more than i can chew, lest I choke to death. hahahaha.....

TRUST and RESPECT are hardearned and I am not about to throw them away so easily.
hi laundryamah,
ya...someone used to tell me, "If you have bad memory, DON'T TRY TO TELL LIES."
hi jonzz,
you are right - "People just cannot handle the truth."....
because the TRUTH HURTS!

hi jl,
**angguk kepala and tepuksss tangan lar.** hahhahah....
hi eve,
adoi.....mana ada chimmmm leh?
come...come... gua ni no belasah orang mia lar. gua pun takut kena hentam sampai blue-black. errr...errrmmm...then gua pigi your klinik for 'rawatan khas'. :P
hi helen,
ya, often times it's not spoken from the heart becos we don't want to break a heart. it's still painful, nonetheless. :)
  At 11:13 PM Blogger savante said:
Now you've made me even more curious to who exactly broke their word!
  At 12:59 AM Blogger J.T. said:
You do have a point, Nyonya...

A simple and straightforward 'Yes' or 'No' and stick with it. Sure, nothing is carved in stone but one should not go back on one's word. It says a lot about a person's integrity.
  At 1:11 AM Anonymous Angeleyes said:
Yeap to the Honesty is the Best Policy!

YOu have a good week too!
  At 4:08 AM Blogger plink said:
Yes! ;)
  At 8:50 AM Anonymous Jemima said:
I have been lied to again & again by someone who had promised to be sincere & honest in our friendship. I don’t even know why I have been lied to… but the lies didn't benefit me at all nor did they serve to protect me. *sigh*

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

Karma awaits..
  At 2:09 PM Blogger ilene said:

This is why I like you! You are a true natural. No hiding between the kebayas!
  At 4:59 PM Blogger Bernard said:
Kak Nyonya, wa agree ka lu.

But sometimes, people cannot say "Yes" worr.. or "No". I've had to live with "Maybe"s too. I accept it for now la.
hi savante,
Lend Me Your Ears. :)
hi j.t.,
i sure don't want to be a person with questionable integrity.

have a great day, j.t.!
hi angeleyes,
i believe it's easier to live with honesty than to live a lie.

and like i said earlier, if a person does not have good memory, don't try lies.
hi plink,
**high five....**
hi jemima,
once bitten, twice shy
twice bitten, give another try,
thrice bitten....say bye-bye.

have a great day!
hi ilene,
thank you for your kind words.

sometimes, i do wish i could just go and hide and pretend nothing happened but then, i know that i cannot hide's suffocating.

and moreover, i enjoy to be in the open.

have a pleasant day, ilene. :)
hi bernard,
'maybe' is used when i need a little time to think things over and before i commit to a firm 'YES' or 'NO', which i will ultimately give.

'maybe' is not an answer per se.

Okie, let me say this, "Let's go yumcha WHEN you visit again."

I used the word 'WHEN', not the word 'IF'. See ya!
  At 11:42 PM Blogger Chen said:
how true
but, at times I still use "maybe"
sometimes just couldn't help it lah :P
  At 12:04 AM Blogger Kenny Ng said:
Agree with you, I also hate to use 'maybe' this word.
Yes to everything you mention.
But somtimes must see the situation. Or who you are dealing with.
Sometimes the truth will not set you free but it causes you or the receiver more heart ache.

Wish you a good week a head. :)
  At 12:18 PM Blogger Bernard said:
Yes.. notice.. "for now" :-) But "now" can be

OK Nyonya, WHEN I come again.. or when you come ;-)
Yes, I agree totally. And I will definitely honor my word. If I am in the least bit uncertain, I won't say it.
hi dr chen,
'maybe' is used pending and affirmative answer. :)
hi kenny,
'maybe' is a word commonly used but to me, it's not an answer. :)
hi aiyah nonya,
ya, the truth hurts but untruths hurt more.
hi giddy tiger,
ya...we cannot commit when we are uncertain. take a little bit more time and carefully think out an appropriate answer. :)
  At 5:24 PM Blogger may said:
yes to that, and to that, and... everything you said above! have a good weekend yourself. Honour thy Weekend! ;-)
hi may,
**high fives and high-tens...**

you have a great weekend too. btw, how's the winter? over here, past 2 days, it's a big roast.
  At 9:28 PM Blogger PEARLY said:
hi nyonyapenang:

Have a lovely weekend sori havn't been around so much no been very well back pain so bad ,can't sit down to kaypoh too long on the chair .
hi pearly,
so sorry to hear that you are having some back pains. you better rest more lar...I know you always busy and busy doing so many things all at one time.

slow down a bit and take a good rest. no worries about not visiting here. i am also missing from blogs too...i have not gone visiting to my many friends here also.

you take care and rest well.
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